I’ve been bogged down emotionally by somebody who sent me an email that made me feel like I’m the most evil person there is. Like I never did anything good.

I let two of my bffs read the email and one of them said, this person sounds like she is going through something that’s why the email comes across as hysterical and very, very hurt. It’s like the world has hurt her so much and I just happen to be one of the actors in it.

I haven’t responded yet as I feel I should be unemotional and detached before replying. You can’t put out fire with fire.

Now that I feel like I’m in that stage that I am objective and distant, I think I can type that email. Tomorrow probably.

You know, holding on to hurts like that is not going to help one to reach peace or find happiness. Everything is temporal, so all of these things — the perceived unworthiness and insecurity — and like the world owes you something…all of these things don’t matter in the end. We just pass through this world. Everything is fleeting. Pain is not forever, just like happiness. It is a gift because you know that everything is temporary, it becomes more beautiful. Like the sakura; their beauty does not rest on the blooms alone. Knowing that they will only bloom for two weeks make them more precious.

I did my best today. I will do my best tomorrow. I did my best for this person. I will do my best for other people.

I went to Toyota to have my car’s first 5000km maintenance. I checked out some cars because my sister is in the market for one. I have verified with sales agents that the Yaris Cross has models that aren’t hybrid and told sister. She is on the fence about the costly maintenance of hybrid batteries, which can run up to PHP 300,000 once the warranty expires after 8 yrs or something.

Anyway, the oil change and brake pad checks were quick. They have put my front right wheel at the back because that wheel was already patched and that was the spare. My car wasn’t even three months old when a huge screw punctured it. I had the fresh spare out and put the patched one under the car.

Then last Monday I had the right front wheel changed because another huge screw punctured it. I live near a place where there is perpetual construction. It sucks.

Now I’m here at the car accessories shop having my car tint changed to something lighter. I don’t care if people can see me inside the car — I need to see out my windshield, back, and side mirrors when I drive at night!!!

I don’t know how I lasted driving with that dark vision.

Last night I was in full 1970s costume that I had sewn this weekend. I went for hair and makeup at David’s Salon because why not? Might as well have fun and be beautiful at the same time.

I loved my hair and makeup so much that I took a lot of photos. I finally changed the profile photos of my FB and IG accounts. 🤣 I got my money’s worth.

When there was an open-mic opportunity, I sang Roxette’s It Must Have Been Love with the band hired for the party. The chairman of the company hosting the party said he didn’t know I could sing well. He just knew me as a reporter who trailed him for almost 20 years. 🤣

He was in such a good mood that night despite finishing a board meeting so late into the night. I was able to ask him questions that are discloseable to the stock exchange! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It really helped that I made an effort with my costume and hair and makeup. He was in a festive mood.

As I told fairy gaymother K, life is too short not to indulge in frivolous things such as going all out on costume parties.

He told me, you really are in a better place now, aren’t you?

The last time we saw each other was last Friday during the journalist association anniv party. He said I look happier now after quitting my post as team leader. I look like somebody who has taken a great load off. My face is more open now, K said.

That is really how I feel about life in general these days.

White Stripes is finally inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

How amazing is that a two-piece band can create so much sound?! Meg and Jack White were honored by another two-member band, Twenty One Pilots, with their own rendition of Seven Nation Army. Bass guitar and drums (with keyboards on the side) are all the things you need to create this whole lot.

And here’s Ric Beato breaking down why Seven Nation Army endures.

Meg White gets a lot of hate for her simplistic drumming but here is Drumeo analyzing why she is one of the top drummers on this planet.

Her zero ego lets Jack’s guitar riff shine. She doesn’t overwhelm, she supports.

White Stripes = just two people who can make a big sound.

The past few days were a whirl. On Thursday, my ass was on the line because I needed to produce that story that has giving me nightmares. There are just stories that are difficult to write because they’re complicated to explain.

At the same time I had to edit stories until 8 pm. I was so drained.

On Friday, I left at 6:14 am to make sure I’m at Manila Peninsula on time because it’s a free-seating arrangement. That morning, the DPWH and the Office of the Ombudsman had filed cases before the Sandiganbayan. Of course reporters were swarming the venue, together with the diplomats, corporate reps, and the execs that I’m chasing.

I filed a story at 6 pm and still uploading it at 7:30 while I was at the 40th anniversary party of my journalist organization.

It was a fun night as I saw colleagues and former journalists whom I haven’t seen for a while. They have left the industry to pursue other careers but once a journalist, always a journalist.

And I won a new Samsung phone! Haha! I would have to sell this in Greenhills.

And then, you think I would be able to relax yesterday after all that driving and people-chasing? Nope. Because I needed to sew my costume for Monday.

I sewed a costume but I think I like the other one that I didn’t work on. I also finished one panel of Christmas curtain I was sewing by hand.

I thought I can just lie in bed and doomscroll my day away today. Nope. I have to battle my way into SM today.

A fellow journo wrote 30 last Monday. I had worked alongside her for years, especially during macroeconomic coverages. We were both senior lecturers at the college where we had our graduate studies.

She was also a guest lecturer in one of the classes I taught.

She and I covered a week-long conference in Yokohama, Japan in 2017 and we stuffed our faces with yummy wagyu beef and the best sushi that the Japanese government can offer. Together with another macroeconomic Pinoy journo, they wiped out all the Nozaki’s corned beef in all of the kombini within our area.

As I was about to leave the wake, I was supposed to say goodbye to her best friend, a fellow journo, but the bestfriend told me, no, you shouldn’t say goodbye when you leave a wake, according to Chinese tradition.

So no goodbyes, C. No goodbyes.