Orange to red rainfall and the death of GenX creatives

Overcast skies

I was awakened by the NDRRMC phone alarm that warned us of possible landslides due to category orange to red rainfall. It was kind of hard to go back to a peaceful sleep after that.

It was an inconvenience for me, who is nestled between a lake and a mountain and landslides are not much of a concern for the past 46 years. But it is a life-saving warning to those who are clinging on cliffs on the eastern board.

And here we are, facing three low pressure areas.

I’m hoping for a respite in two weeks because that’s when I plan to go on leave and go diving and camping.


The death of GenX creatives

I identify as GenX, or to be more precise, a Xennial — a sub-generation sandwiched between elder GenXers and Millennials. I lived through rotary phones, Kurt Cobain, and MySpace/Multiply.

I started life thinking I can live being a creative my entire life. I naively believed that creatives have a place in this world and somehow the world will find value in us. Yes, we don’t get paid much but at least our spirits are fed.

But this article from The New York Times (one of the reasons why I haven’t cancelled my subscription yet), hit me like a punch to the gut as it encapsulates the pain and sorrow of creatives of my generation feel.

The loss of ABS-CBN (more political in nature though) and eventual sale of its assets and the closure of an institution like Philippine Daily Inquirer (the broadsheet) are the realities we are facing now. Those two institutions were the benchmarks of local media some years ago. It was like when you were working for these two media companies, more or less you will have a job for a loooooonnnnnggg time. Everybody wanted to get into ABS and PDI.

I had classmates in college who went into ad agencies and other corporate creative work. I wonder how they are faring now…😔

I know two photographers—classmates from high school—who have been let go from their jobs in an international institution. One remained jobless until his wife died and the other lives on the gig economy.

I am one of the lucky few who still has a well-paying job (by industry standards) but even I need to pivot. I need to retrain in analytics to be relevant.

This partly answers my question whether I should stick it out and suffer my boss or jump into the abyss, into the unknown for creatives like me. Will I be exchanging my life of daily stress from my manager to daily stress of having to work at the bottom of the barrel (because I would have to start from scratch) in a corporate setting with no soul at all?

Well my work now is soulless but at least I get to use my skill and it’s something I think I’m good at.

Aside from lost income, there is the emotional toll — feelings of grief and loss — experienced by those whose careers are short-circuited. Some may say that the Gen X-ers in publishing, music, advertising and entertainment were lucky to have such jobs at all, that they stayed too long at the party. But it’s hard to leave a vocation that provided fulfillment and a sense of identity. And it isn’t easy to reinvent yourself in your 50s, especially in industries that put a premium on youth culture.

The New York Times

Maybe, just maybe, salvation is in the hands of Gen Z and Gen Alpha (my kids). These kids are digging through their dad’s (and my) collection of DVDs and CDs and asked if we could buy players to play these (because DVD-ROMs have been eradicated). They’re tired of the “instantness” of everything. Twin A (and the rest of her generation) bought a second-hand digital camera online while Twin I asked for her tita’s functioning but hibernated Fujifilm. They wanted go to thrift shops and dig through vinyl records. They’re asking for money so they can watch plays — live with crude setups.

Just as this new generation pushed back against the Duterte-Marcos paradigm during the last elections, these kids may find ways to destroy the poison that we GenXers and older Millennials have created to kill us slowly. With Bam and Kiko topping the senatoriables (and Heidi almost clinching the last spot), Vico kicking the butts of the established political families of Pasig at the polls, I can say the kids are doing all right.

Just as this guy on Facebook said:

Streaming is dead, according to Disney executives. And I can see why.

Every major studio stripped down all of their revenue streams in favor of streaming, trying to compete with Netflix and Hulu. They invested billions into content, software, hardware, and marketing and advertising, and it’s still not nearly as profitable as the days of big theatrical releases and home video.

When someone can pay $15/month to access the entire Disney catalog, including new release movies just weeks after they hit theaters, why would they buy a movie ticket? Why would they rent a movie on VOD, or buy a DVD? They’ve got the entire Disney catalog at their fingertips for one price.

It’s not sustainable. It’s not profitable. And in my eyes, the streaming bubble has burst. Netflix is the new Cable TV, and the movie studios need to go back to what they do best, creating great movie experiences for audiences and selling tickets and making money on individual movie releases instead of a one price for all approach.


Habagat is here

Rainy holiday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Yup, just as I predicted, the rest of the week was going to be marked with rainy afternoons and evenings. My sis-in-law lamented that we haven’t gone to the beach but the southwest monsoon is already upon us. 😔

I was supposed to clean out my yard by bringing my recyclables and old appliances to the junk shop but the rain kept me from doing anything of that sort. So I just brought Twin I’s PC tower to the repair shop because the power was erratic.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I thought it was a faulty power supply because not enough power was coursing through the motherboard. The technican said the motherboard may be cooked.

When he pulled out the mobo, he was flabbergasted to see how dirty it was. After some thorough cleaning, the mobo finally booted. 😮‍💨

I already cleaned the innards of that pc tower and I even opened the power supply to brush and vacuum clean it before bringing it to the shop. But I didn’t have the courage to pull out the mobo because I was scared I won’t able to put it back.

Simple cleaning = PHP 1,750 🤦🏻‍♀️

When I got home, I immediately cleaned Twin A’s pc. I don’t want to be paying so much for something I can do. I figured out a way how to clean the mobo and cooling fan without pulling these out.

Another errand that I needed to do today was to have my girls’ bikes overhauled. Our bikes had been sitting in my mom’s garage for two years since we moved here and I didn’t have the time to attend to these.

Now, I had to do it because 1) Twin I was wearing me down with her constant “Mommy, when are you going to have our bikes fixed?”; and 2) so that my girls would have something do aside from having their noses shoved against their screens while I’m away in Malaysia next week.

Look how dirty the bikes are. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

For two hours, they worked on the bikes—changed so many parts (including new wheels), indexed the gears, tuned them up, and cleaned all parts. I also bought new accessories like bells, headlamps and tail lights because the old ones are already shite.

Bought Twin A a new bike rack. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
New chains and handle grips. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Look how pretty Twin A’s bike is. Both bikes have new brakes, cleaned and repaired the Shimano gear shifters, etc. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Twin I’s Baba-G. Yes, it has a name. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
New accessories. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
She’s so happy with her overhauled bike. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’ll have mine fixed after I get back from Malaysia. 😉

Pause

At the conference yesterday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I wrote two stories yesterday from this conference and I’m working on more related articles. But for today I decided to take a break and just stay at home and chat with my sources and reach out to more sources in Malaysia.

So here I am, loafing around the house, constantly on my phone, messaging people like crazy. Tomorrow, I drive back early again to catch up on some sessions, because you know, I will learn a new thing or two.


Decompress

Walking several km past 6 pm. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Fuck work.

I logged off at 6 pm, put on my running/walking gear and just walked for several km. I need to detach myself from work, thoughts of my boss, thoughts of reporters who go incommunicado. I’m tired of chasing people who do not appreciate all the grace I’ve given them. I’m not a doormat.

Stats for today.

It has been a while since I had exercised. I realized that I’m no longer that sprite that I was 10 years ago. I needed a week of rest at home after an overseas trip to recharge my social battery. I know I have gained a lot of weight as a result but I just couldn’t push myself too much after stressing all day at work.

Detach. Detach. Detach.

Oh Maria, how beautiful you are. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I really need to physically detach myself from work. Physically leave my desk, my room, my house. Perhaps I should start working in that co-working place inside the uni campus.


On the edge, again and again

Breakfast on my pseudo-balcony. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I was so battered by my manager last Friday. I was so distraught that I had a fleeting thought of wanting to fling myself out the window. I wanted to just channel this trapped feeling into something else, like physical pain.

It alarmed me that I was already having that kind of thought so I sought a friend to talk this out. I think I need to go on leave after my KL trip. I should have medical exams. Not sure if this part of perimenopause.

Smoked pulled pork quesadillas and matcha latte for at the community market. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I thought I would be able to handle my feelings towards my manager after I told her when we were in HK that she is stressing me out and I had wanted to quit this job because of that. Nope. I still cannot handle it.

I cannot walk away that easily from this job. Not in this economy. Not when the private school that my kids attend just sent me the list of school fees that just went up. Not when our business hasn’t taken off yet.

I just have to learn to manage this. I just have to learn how to ignore my manager. I just need to go to the sea after every rough encounter with her.


The dry and hot season is over. The southwest monsoon is upon us again in two weeks.

The gamu-gamo or flying termites are out and about, which means there would be a thunderstorm tomorrow or the following days. Flying termites flocking to light sources signal the end of summer and we would be drenched again by the southwest monsoon and typhoons. When I was a student, I always felt sad about seeing the gamu-gamo because it meant that my summer break was over and I haven’t enjoyed it to full hilt.

End of summer flowers. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I somehow got the same feeling now. There’s this inexplicable feeling deep down in my gut, a kind of sadness because time is moving so fast. I have yet to go diving again. I haven’t been to the beach. I haven’t taken a break. It’s melancholy that is hitting me hard right now. The things I had promised myself I would be doing with the girls now that we have moved back to the province haven’t happened.

I should step back from work.

I should go out and take photos, just like I used to before. I’ve had three overseas trips this year and it’s only June and yet I haven’t sketched nor taken artsy photos. I haven’t enjoyed any moment of those trips. It’s all about work, work, work.

No wonder I’m always tired.

Hiatus

A bunch of baby’s breath for my table. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I decided to take a hiatus because two weeks ago my blog stats went crazy. I don’t know why it went viral in a particular country in Europe and it freaked me out. I hope the craziness has died down.


Bright mornings. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My kids are still not home because they’re extending their stay at their dad’s hometown. Dad delayed their departure. 🙄

So here I am, spending quiet mornings, midday, and evenings. It is unnerving though. I only have cats to talk to if I’m not talking to avatars of my colleagues online.

I had a change of pace today as I attended an annual general meeting and chased people again. I also had coffee with a friend, who asked for career advice…as if I know anything about careers. 😏

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It was quite a productive day for me.


During lunch, fellow journos (senior journos) are sad that another institution is crumbling. Philippine Daily Inquirer, the broadsheet, is closing down.

Mass media is in a flux. Algorithms now rule and your ability to make money out of your content is now out of whack. Without steady subscription, you can’t survive. You have to have a way to make your viewers/readers stick.

When I was still with my old TV network, I learned that the way media outlets not behind a paywall get the eyeballs (ergo advertising money) is to have 1) speed, 2) click-bait headlines, 3) exclusivity.

Nowadays, those things no longer matter. Algorithm is the king. You are now a slave to the algorithm.