Category Archives: personal

Sorry

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The book is closed. I had to say all these things to him, to let go of my anger. To find my release. All he can say is sorry and take care.

I think I can move on now.

I remember
Walking in the rain
No umbrella
With your arms around me
How can I forget
That was the last time

I saw you
Waving down a taxi
Getting on without me
And you’re sorry
How can I forget
That was the last time

You’re sorry
You’re sorry
Sorry, sorry

I remember
Somewhere in a dream
A man without a face
It was you
You were quiet
I knew what you were thinking but
You couldn’t say it
Letting go of the feeling
Things ain’t what they are now
Rain is falling no umbrella
I remember you

You’re sorry
You’re sorry
Sorry, sorry

You’re sorry
You’re sorry
You’re sorry
You’re sorry
You’re sorry

I could be evil

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You checked in on me today to make sure you’re still in my good graces. You’re scared I might snap and do something evil. That’s the only reason why you’re being nice to me now. Because you know very well I could ruin you as I know the loopholes in that thing that allows you to stay here. You know that I could mess up your business.

Plus I could also hunt down and haunt your little girlfriend on social media.

Because nice people could be evil when we finally snap; you just have no idea the extent of how evil I can be.

This is all I can say for now: have a happy life with your young bitch. If you get her pregnant, I will have the last laugh, you asshole.

I’ll just have heaven strike you down.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Liar, liar, your pants are on fire!

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I am convinced that he has this thing for this co-worker that he has been singing praises for months and months on end. He even wanted to get her for the other company where he is a partner. But he had always insisted she is almost half his age and she’s a lesbian. I won’t be surprised if there’s already something going on now that he’s free.

Sorry, been there. I’m not stupid. She’s the reason you’ve treated me really badly.

I hate you. I hope you rot in hell.

I am the worst person you will cross swords with. I am the person you should fear the most now.

Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.

Retail therapy

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To force myself to get back into the groove of working my butt off, I bought a new office chair from Ofix. It cheered me up a little bit today. I bought it on sale for 5k and was delivered to me today 3 days after ordering it from their online store.

New scratching chair for my cats 🤦🏻‍♀️.

It’s sturdier than the one I just replaced and the foam molds my butt. Thicker foam too. The gas lift doesn’t give way to my weight, which the older chair had been doing to me.

Goodbye, old chair. You now go to my yaya, who’s also attending online school.

Aside from the gas lift problem, the legs on this one got bendy so it’s tilted. I think one more weekend of him sitting on this would have done it in. It’s almost one month by this coming weekend since he sat on this…But it feels just like yesterday…

Anyway, I bought this gaming chair (it reclines up to 120 or 130 degrees) from Facebook Marketplace I think in May, for 3.5k. The good thing about this chair is that the fabric is holding up against the cats. Other than that, I regret buying this. Less than a month after I bought this, the reclining mechanism became wonky, it’s not locking. This made the back perpetually reclining.

This is a lesson for me: do not go cheap on yourself. You deserve better. No one else would buy it for you so go and treat yourself. Your 40+ year-old body will thank you.

The saddest song in the world

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There’s a reason why this song has been rerecorded over and over: Because this is the saddest song ever written. Originally sung by Bonnie Raitt in 1991 and then sung live by George Michael on MTV Unplugged. As one Youtube commenter said,

“This reaches a place (where) strangers are not allowed. Thank you for giving me a place to grieve.“

And if the imagery in this song ever happened to you in real life, this song is like a knife twisting in your chest, killing your heart a hundred times. The painful part is you are still alive and you have to endure this gaping wound in your chest for the rest of your life. It doesn’t go away; you just learn to live with the dull ache through time. I never felt this kind of pain since my father died 15 years ago. Until now.

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don’t patronize
Don’t patronize me
‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t
I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t