Too many things happened the past week that I wasn’t able to write my thoughts about Hidilyn Diaz and Margielyn Didal making waves a the Tokyo 2020 Olympics.
Margielyn Didal of the Philippines in action at Tokyo Olympics 2020’s women street skateboarding finals at the Ariake Urban Sports Park, Tokyo, Japan onJuly 26, 2021. (Reuters/Toby Melville)
Margielyn was just a beautiful ray of sunshine in this dark, dark world. The Brazilians love her (and I’ve been seeing their tweets). She was just happy to be there competing and being friends with her competitors.
Meanwhile, that day was one of those days you just want to shut down and ignore the State of the Nation Address of Duterte. He was rambling for three hours, being his usual incoherent, unintelligible self. He even would not exert effort to read his prepared speech well. Then he would segue into one of his stream of consciousness that don’t make sense. When I caught him on TV (a rare moment that I watched TV, by accident), he was invoking China several times that I had hurled a string of invectives at the screen.
The irony later that day was that a woman–which Duterte looks lowly upon–earned the first gold medal for this country in a sport that as seen as masculine. And crushed China. How poetic.
This administration even demonized her when she asked on social media for private sector sponsorship for her bid in the Olympics because government support was not there. Then the DDS crucified her: how dare she challenge the government, the oh so benevolent Duterte! Then she was included by then-Presidential Spokesperson Panelo in the fictional matrix of destabilizers. Which the DDS trolls magnified and made Hidilyn fear for her life.
It gave me goosebumps. Kudos to you, Sgt. Diaz.
I had stayed with my cousin for three days and made sure her mom is stable before I went back home to attend to my household and work. My other cousin (the older one) finally arrived and they were able to make more arrangements in case my aunt turns for the worse. They were able to arrange for a priest administer the Anointment of the Sick (last rites) via video call (IATF protocol says no personal visits yet allowed? Or is this a parish decree? I don’t know) and funeral arrangement when the time comes.
Unfortunately, we will be going on a hard lockdown again a.k.a. enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) on August 6-20 so I don’t know how I would be able to go to my aunt when she…I was already assigned by my family as the first responder.
Speaking of lockdown, I did a lot of errands yesterday and today before everything shuts down. I contacted a plumber who charged me PHP 4,000 for changing faucets. And I had to redo all his work today because he did a bad job.
But it was a learning experience for me. I finally was able to do simple plumbing work like changing faucets.
Now that I know how to apply grout, I can chip away that dingy grout and apply a fresh one. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I had to change this as well because the whole pipe assembly leading to the shower was leaking. The reason why water is not bursting outside the walls is because the broken joint or whatever was being held together by cement. But it’s just as matter of time eventually the thing will give way and I would have a huge problem. We changed the original separate faucet and shower setup to a dual faucet shower installation so we don’t have to open up the concrete walls to install new pipes. This is cheaper and easier.
Unfortunately, the one we installed yesterday was a lemon despite the its hefty price tag. I had it exchanged for a better one and installed this one myself.
I changed faucets! Achievement unlocked.
The rains won’t stop. No chance to ride the bike before ECQ. *Sigh*. So I need to buy that can of paint so I can finally refresh my closets and doors’ paint because Kimchi loooooooooved scratching that corner of my closet. I need to find something to do indoors. The rains would not stop. Soon the strong typhoons would come after August or September.
Looks like a typhoon forming northeast that sucks the southwest monsoon. The dark rain clouds over Luzon have dissipated a bit though.
I went on leave yesterday to help my cousin, who is like my third sister, with–how do I term it? Her mom’s long goodbye? My cousin is not functioning well so I needed to be the one doing the rational thinking and the legwork because she couldn’t think straight. One thing is, she couldn’t let go. It hasn’t sunk in yet.
I told her the best option now is palliative care at home and make her mom comfortable. So I told her there’s no point in prolonging the stay in the hospital and we have to bring her mom home. We just need to set up a mini hospital there.
Which was not easy.
At a time of rising covid cases, looking for oxygen regulators is such an endeavor. I was told that Mercury is out of stock of O2 regulators because their supplier doesn’t have any left. I had searched for alternatives to Bambang, Sta. Cruz, Manila–the hub for mom-and-pop medical suppliers. Because I don’t wanna go there when it’s flooding all over the metro. Long-story short, I was able to buy an O2 regulator by going straight to the supplier’s house somewhere in Quezon City.
Now, the oxygen supply is another thing. I didn’t know that oxygen suppliers close early. Like 4 pm. And all I had with me was a 20-lb oxygen tank which I was told can last us the night. Wrong. It was only good for max of 6 freaking hours if the gauge was set up at 5! So I had to call people and begged to buy 50-lb tanks. One good-hearted guy took pity on me when I was almost crying and told him our oxygen will not last us the night and that my aunt was dying. So he relented and told his men to go to the factory and wait for us there so we can get 2 tanks, each one would only last probably 10 hrs or so. Each costs PHP7,000, just for the tank rental. The oxygen refill is another matter. We’ll just cross the bridge later today how to deal with supplies.
I had a long day and I still can’t sleep because of adrenalin. Driving around searching for medical supplies that are already dwindling. Hospitals that can increasingly cannot accommodate non-covid patients. Patients arriving at the ER, suddenly collapsing on the floor and dying.
I hoped to never use the PPE I had at home but unfortunately yesterday I had to.
Because my immediate concern was to get as much cash I could the quickest way possible to bring to the hospital, I totally forgot to buy surgical masks because we don’t stock up on it that much at home. So even if I have my PPE overalls, I was only wearing two cloth masks. I just hope I am not contracting anything.
So how do you tell a loved one that their whole world was dying?
You don’t.
My cousin dedicated much of her adult life taking care of her mom and could not bring herself do the paperwork for DNR. I didn’t point out to her that her mom’s heart already stopped twice, which may have already cut off the blood to her brain. And Lord knows what that could do. It still doesn’t sink in.
I just told her, we need to bring her home now. We will be running the hospital bill needlessly. That finally convinced her to ask the doctors if we can take my aunt home.
I’m still here in their house because anything can happen at any time. And she would be totally useless, which she already acknowledged she will be when the inevitable happens. I will be the one calling for the doctor’s medical certificate that will declare the probable cause, calling the funeral parlor or memorial service, arranging the filing of declaration to whatever government entities, calling relatives, arranging household concerns. Logistical issues. Like what I did when my father died. No one was functioning well enough to do those practical things.
Because I know how it is to die when grief kills you. You’re just blank.
I didn’t eat during the first few days after the break-up and after my dad died. It was only ice cream that sustained me because it was full of sugar, enough to fuel my cells, and it was the only thing that is a pleasure to eat because everything else tasted like paper. As I said in a blog entry after my dad died (and after my break-up with J) that every moment at that time was like floating in memories that were played back like a movie. And it doesn’t stop. It just goes on and on and on. The pain is excruciating that you want to just inflict physical pain onto yourself to take the edge off the emotional pain.
That’s how I know my cousin will not have human strength when death comes.
Roof is leaking again at the laundry area. Sent my landlady videos of the waterfalls happening at that back room. I hate it that whenever the monsoon season sets in, I’m never totally dry. I’m so done with renting old places.
Meanwhile, the government is starting to tighten restrictions again as the Delta variant has locally been transmitted. Fast. Some cases have come from OFWs coming home and no social distancing protocols practiced, especially during wakes.
Why can’t people understand that 1) traveling exposes you to so much pathogens that you should stay away from people for a long time and 2) in the process you are endangering a lot of people around you, multiplied by 8, as is the case with this Delta variant?
Soon we will be overwhelmed again just like in the first half of 2021. When will we ever learn?!
Because it had been raining nonstop for days, my girls are left with nothing to do so Twin I pestered me to teach her how to cook a side dish that she will feature during their Nutrition Week. (They started the school year two months earlier than public schools, which are scheduled to start by September). I thought of the easiest side dish I can think of: buttered mushrooms with garlic and bell peppers.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com She also out rosemary in it. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Lunch yesterday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The world has shrunk for me again with this incessant rains. So I began digging again into the rabbit hole that is Youtube. And found myself watching hours of chiropractic videos.
And I was living vicariously through the patients. I must schedule an appointment with my chiropractor in Makati whom I haven’t seen in almost 10 years.
Right after giving birth to twins, my back ache was 9/10 as it turned out pregnancy worsened the S- curvature of my scoliosis. After the course of my treatment, the back pain was reduced to 1. And the pain on my hands disappeared.
Let me just get through next week and let’s see if I can make that trip to Makati.
A colleague, who is my junior, and I were talking about our past lives as online journalists for a TV network. She was saying she missed it, the camaraderie and the achievements that we had, the kind of coverage that we did. She said she missed writing for an audience who would care about what she is writing about.
Writing with meaning. Writing about things that matter.
As I said before, we are writing for money now. Not our money but rather money for our readers–exclusive content that would make them money. It’s not writing with a noble purpose.
I think every writer at some point looks for the soul of what she is writing about.
I had quit that for a while. I gave so much of myself in that last job before this one that I got burnt out. I was headbutting government officials, the government, the world. The country’s problems were my problems. I was a walking mass of nerves. If my insurance covered my jumping out of planes, I would have but my editor strapped me to my chair and said, do something less wild, ok?
I was doing investigative reports. Knocking on doors upon doors, literally, looking for the people in the web of lies I have mapped out. I conducted interviews in the dark, in safe houses, having multiple phones with me just in case one of them gets bugged. I hung out in court houses, listened to court proceedings, pored over evidence and more evidence. I talked to people who were willing to give me evidence. We were almost there, almost sent the criminals to jail. They were indicted. Senators. Ring leaders.
Then it all came to naught. Things got reversed. It’s so tiring. Fighting for justice in this country is tiring.
And then I became a casualty of mergers and acquisitions. The parent company had done a series of bolt-on acquisitions that made my role redundant…even though it didn’t seem like it at first. But as a business journalist, I already saw the writing on the wall. I exited before it happened. After a couple years after I left, it did finally happen. All of them were shown the exit door.
Did I miss it? Yes, I do miss writing from the soul. Do I miss my former life? I don’t know. Maybe the burnout hasn’t worn off yet. The disillusionment has not worn off yet.
I was offered to write a weekly column in a broadsheet some years ago. My boss in HK said, why not? It would have been great marketing for my current company as well. But I turned it down, thinking I would not be able to commit writing that regularly. I may run out of things to say. As it turned out, I was right. It’s not that I would run out of things to say but I ran out of time. I don’t have enough time for everything. Especially in the last 3 years when I was running around with J. I barely had time for myself. A weekly column would have been a chore and I may just churn out something that would be subpar, with no real purpose or meaning.
I was watching this video of of a girl who quit her job to become a full-time artist. It was like her day job was sucking out her soul but she was doing the math and she stayed in her job year in and year out to be able to save enough, create a portfolio of work, gather clients for commissioned work, and students. Then she made the leap and was happy that she was able to do it sooner than she was thinking.
I completely sympathize with her. I was stuck in jobs in other industries for a couple of years before I made a jump to full-time journalism and not just dabbling in writing here and there. At that time I was writing on the side–to keep my spirit alive while I stayed in soul-sucking jobs to put me through graduate school.
Now years later I’m still working at home as a writer. Not that kind of writer that people are romanticizing about, like Hemingway or Nick Joaquin. But writer nonetheless.
Maybe I should restructure my colleague’s question: Do I miss writing about things that matter? Yes. Do I miss the former life of a mad-dash journalist out there in the trenches? Sometimes. What do I want to do to feed my soul?
Maybe I should write on the side. Of things that mattered.
I got an invite to write for a news outlet, a special report about healthcare. I haven’t done it yet because it required too much leg work.
I must pick my battles. Start small. Write in a literary magazine for a start while I write big stuff for my day job.
Oh, and this is the reason why I blog regularly. My writing sucks most of the time because I’ve been stuck writing for my day job for seven years. My writing growth was stymied. I regressed.
Here is something I wrote five years ago about this searching for the soul:
Long form journalism in the click-bait era
Let me tell you about the moment I realized I wanted to be a journalist. We had in our house a desk calendar from the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism (PCIJ). That calendar had a black and white photo for every month, which I presumed was used in some PCIJ story. I cropped those photos to use in one of my projects for xxx (subject) during my freshman year in college. And somewhere in my gut I knew I wanted to be a journalist after flipping through the pages of my finished project.
All The President’s Men and now Spotlight reinforced my desire to be and stay in this profession.
I cried at the end of the movie. The most poignant part of the film was when Micheal Keaton entered Spotlight’s office and saw the phones ringing off the hooks. He was probably expecting calls from angry parishioners and supporters of the Catholic Church (hence his surprised remark about the absence of picketers the day after the Boston Globe ran the story). But no, these were calls from victims of sexual abuse perpetrated by Catholic priests in Boston. These victims were coming forward to tell their tales, emboldened by Boston Globe’s investigative story on how the church covered up decades of sexual abuse. That for me was the most powerful scene–the reason why we journalists do what we have to do. Marty Baron (Liev Schreiber) was right: you don’t focus on the individual stories because nothing will come out of it. You have to go after the system, the system that was so rotten that it has killed so many children who were silenced by shame, guilt and haunting memories of predators. And good journalism serves as a spark that would lead to the correction of that faulty system.
Sadly, dwindling advertising money and the audience’s propensity to gobble up “fastfood” news are whittling down the capacity of newspapers to carry the long form, good ol’ shoe-leather stories.
Keeping an investigative team is expensive. Running stories that may not bring you “hits” or mouse clicks is kind of hard these days. Doing investigative reports is exhausting, and at times you feel like you are alone in your battle. I’ve been there. Countless late nights interviewing sources undercover. Poring over documents and piecing together clues then hitting a brick wall. Sacrificing family life just to be able to bring out the truth to the public is painful. But what keeps us journalists going? Mark Ruffalo has put it perfectly:
“They knew. They let it happen. To kids! Okay? It could’ve been you! It could’ve been me! It could’ve been any of us! We gotta nail these scumbags! We’ve gotta show the people nobody can get away with this! Not a priest, not a cardinal, or a freaking pope!”
“Spotlight” was devoid of histrionics that made the horrific story that was unfolding so palpable. It was a methodical movie but was a great thriller. It didn’t dwell on the heartbreaking stories of the victims, but by doing so “Spotlight” made each stories of those children more devastating.
Spotlight is an ode to newspapers and to the journalists dying to stay in the profession. To the journalists who fight for change.
They have already multiplied, as of the latest story I read. Soon we will be overwhelmed again by Delta and God knows how long the lockdowns will be again. Indonesia and Thailand are overrun now by this variant. Our inoculation rate is low and we have run out of vaccines here in Metro Manila.
I’m tired.
Saturday bento. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I only got out of my room to make bento. Then I slept the day away. I think I’m sick or hormones are out of whack again (hello premenstrual syndrome!) and I’m aching all over. I promised the girls we would be riding our bikes in an hour but I’m sooooo 🤒
Kimchi lying on top my laptop. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My cats are driving me nuts. They meow like they’re dying if they get shut out of my room. Then they do the zoomies around my small room while I try to sleep. They follow me to the bathroom. They sit or lay on my table when I work. Or underneath my table. On my chair. On my chair’s headrest while I work.
I should buy cat leashes so we can take them for walks so that they can expend more energy instead of zooming all over the apartment.
Today marks the 7th month since I died. Or the old me died.
It is hard.
Climbing out of that dark pit of grief, anger, and self-pity is soul-crushing during a pandemic. You are left with your thoughts for days on end. You can’t see you friends or distract yourself by traveling or just going about your normal business such as working at Makati CBD.
Oh they said, “You’re still young, you can find someone else.”
The thing is I don’t think I can trust someone again. I don’t think I can go all through that pain again.
I have children, you see. No one would love and accept them except for me, as proven by this experience. I don’t want them to experience the kind of rejection that I experienced from J. I didn’t tell them that J didn’t like them that’s why he left, among other issues. He left when they were in my hometown with my mom. When they came back, Tito J was already gone. No goodbye whatsoever. He left like a thief in the night, like a typhoon that passed us by.
Those 7 months were hard. As I said here before, those were the hardest months I had since my dad died. I tried my darned best to keep my head above water because I had two human beings depending on me for survival so I had to survive too. I needed to save myself before I could save others.
I’m better now. I’m a bit proud of myself for not making an ass of myself infront of him during my darkest hours. Of not asking him to change his mind and come back. Of groveling at his feet.
But the grief is there, it never goes away. I just have to be a bigger person so that ball of grief won’t hit my inner walls that often.
Seven months. Back then I didn’t even know how I would survive the month. My only goal then was to survive the day. Take it one day at a time. I couldn’t picture myself in seven months but here I am, frayed but still intact. Still finding my way out, trying to find myself. Still figuring out what’s the best way forward.
But maybe this is the way forward. I don’t know. I mean, I have a general idea of what I want but the details are not clear. I had been with my current company for seven years, the longest I had been with any employer. I am feeling the seven-year itch but I’m not sure if this is the best time to jump given the difficult economic circumstances. But my doors are open and I’m already looking around. If the right opportunity and timing is right, it will land on my lap. As God has always done.