It’s the 51st anniversary of the declaration of Martial Law, the one that allowed the Marcoses to stay in power, absolute power, for almost 20 years. Many have been imprisoned and killed. Social media, with the careful machinations of Cambridge Analytica, erased the atrocities the Marcoses have committed against the Filipino people.

That’s why they’re in power again, ransacking the country again with billions of “confidential funds” appropriated in the national budget. Those confidential funds could have gone to government hospitals, to the patients in charity wards of the Philippine General Hospital, Lung Center of the Philippines, National Kidney and Transplant Institute, and Philippine Heart Center.

But guess what? Their budgets were cut to make way for these so-called “confidential funds” that do not go under the scrutiny of the Commission on Audit.

GREATEST ROBBERY OF A GOVERNMENT.

Late dictator Ferdinand Marcos Sr. received this distinction from the Guinness World Records after the Philippine government identified a total national loss worth $5 billion to $10 billion from November 1965. #NeverAgain #NeverForget pic.twitter.com/FOln147xss

— Inquirer (@inquirerdotnet) September 21, 2023

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The last early breakfast for my 7th Grader for the week. Whopeee!

Sigh. It’s hard raising tweens/teenagers. The moodiness, the dramas…it’s hard to explain now. I am emotionally drained because I had a heart-to-heart talk with Twin I. I thought she was mature enough to understand things.

I have a bumpy road ahead. 😩

Today is much better. Twin A slept through the night and the pain is lesser today. She still feels bloated after every meal though, but the pain is no longer that intolerable.

After preparing breakfast, I went back to bed to sleep for two hours before working.

I was no longer the only editor today so I only did a few edits. However, procastination got the better of me and all my good intentions flew out the window. I was supposed to bring my daughter to our local pediatrician to check her uric acid but house work and a few edits bogged me down.

I must do it tomorrow.

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My younger sister went here to get muffins because I need to decongest my fridge. I have so much food that much of it go past the expiration date. So to avoid that, I’m giving away food

When she got here, she remarked, you haven’t gone out of your house, have you?

“Ah well, yes. Everything I need is here and besides, my work keeps me strapped to my desk,” I replied. Watching over Twin A is also a full-time job; I needed to administer medicines that she needs to take at different times throughout the day. I do periodic checks for tummy aches and other issues that may crop up. I also also supervise her temporary homeschooling.

While I surveyed my living/dining area after sweeping the floor tonight, I realized that we really don’t need that much space as long as we have ample storage. Our apartment in QC is bigger than my house but that one was inefficient in terms of storage and layout. We also don’t use the sala that much; it was only used when Ate C watched TV. My girls and I don’t watch TV.

My older sister lived here for three weeks to watch over Twin I while we were in the hospital. She told me that my house is like a condo in Metro Manila when it comes to size but it was cozy and it’s like living in a bubble. She had a world of her own here, far removed from the house next door. She had no idea what was going on in the other house if not for our chat group. And she also didn’t come out of the house because all she needed were here. It’s also peaceful.

What else would I need?

I woke up at 3 am because Twin A was suffering from tummy ache that bothered her the entire night. The most I can give her was paracetamol. Her doctors didn’t give me home instructions for her pain; her last pain relievers were Tramadol and mefanemic acid and were given to her for 24 hrs after her biopsy.

At 5 am she was up again and wanted to vomit because her tummy was unbearably painful. She mentioned something about sharp pain that comes and goes. Sounded like hyperacidity so I gave her Omeprazole, which is part of her cocktail of daily meds to take. I let her sleep upright, propped up by several pillows. Only then her tummy calmed down and she slept soundly after it.

I cooked cheese omelette with pan de sal for Twin I while her sister slept. Good that she is responsible enough that I didn’t have to worry about her that much after serving her breakfast. Lest I be accused of not giving importance to my firstborn, I asked Twin I if I could go back to sleep because my head was already pounding for the lack of sleep instead of seeing her off to school.

I slept for almost 2 hours, which wasn’t enough, then subjected myself to torture—editing all day until 8 pm today. I was the only editor on duty today. 😩

But this is nothing compared to what I experienced the last three weeks. I would rather take this any day than be back to that horrible three weeks.

Sleeppppp…

Anxiety is eating me alive right now. I constantly have to monitor Twin A for pain and signs of fever. I also have to measure her abdomen regulary to make sure it’s not getting bigger until our check up next week. I need to have her blood test done to monitor her uric acid level but they forgot to give me the doctor’s order for that. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I haven’t fully stepped back into my regular rhythm. It’s kinda hard when you have had a big shock to your system. I don’t know how to function normally yet since my body just wants to shut down and rest.

Then there are the repairs. My contractor hasn’t sent his people back yet because it seems like the leak is not coming from the bidet spray but it’s from the pipe itself. Same thing with the lavatory, there might be some kind of leak seeping through the walls because my cabinet under the lavatory has grown mushrooms. Yes, literal mushrooms. It’s another cause for my anxiety. I mean, this is a new build so why am I having this kind of problems at this very early stage?!

I guess the culprit is our water booster. The pressure was just too much that my shower heater gave up and started leaking because one of the o-rings inside broke. Then my expensive bidet spray also broke, the head couldn’t contain the water so it started leaking as well while we were away. My sister bought a new one to replace my newish spray but that also broke despite adjusting the psi of the water pressure booster. When I got back, I bought another expensive spray but still the leak didn’t stop.

I want to shut down for a bit…

But I can’t.

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It’s so wonderful to be back home. It’s nice to take a long hot shower in my own bathroom.

I am so exhausted. The emotional and mental toll on me is immense. I couldn’t curl up on my bed and pass out since I needed to unpack our lives for three weeks and fix broken things, such as the bidet spray that kept on leaking while I was away.

Going home was an ordeal since Twin A vomited inside the car. Good thing my sister has vomit bags in the pockets of the passenger side door.

And I need to wake up at 5 am to cook breakfast, help prepare Twin I for school, and make Twin A take her medicines. A lot of them.

🫠

It’s UTI. 😓

“What if this is UTI?” I asked our resident doctor when she told me the bad news that we had to be held back by 24 hrs + because of the fever.

She asked me, why do you think that? Her look was like, you are so random, Mommy.

I said, well, you know, in all the years I’ve been a mom, when fevers suddenly come out of nowhere and they’re high, 60-70% of the time it’s UTI.

Then I doubted myself because of that uric acid.

So overnight I held a vigil but failed (was too damn tired) to watch out for fever. Well, the highest temp my girl had was 37.6, which is not really a fever, at around 4 am.

Urinalysis showed that yes, it’s UTI and Twin A is on oral antibiotics now. So far so good.

As for the uric acid, the resident explained to me (well, she was also the one who also told me about the possibility of malignancy) that since cells are being destroyed (by the anti-TB meds), uric acid is released as a by-product.

That’s why our IDS is unperturbed. Our hema-onco, of course is hyper-vigilant, since my daughter’s genes are whacked (from my side and her dad’s side). She wants us back after I have gotten all the biopsy results and do another scan. There’s still this possibility of malignancy hanging over our heads.

We got discharged today but it’s very short notice so no one is available to fetch us. I decided to book a room with two queen beds at I’m Hotel in Makati because I want to treat my exhausted self. I needed to free up the room at PGH because a patient has been waiting for it since Thursday, poor kid.

I will still have battles ahead since I need to drive my daughter back and forth PGH for check ups. Plus the dreaded histopathology report.

For now, I’m luxuriating for a bit and will have a two hour massage later and take advantage of the unlimited access to onsen and sauna.

One victory at a time.

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