I haven’t ridden my bike at all this week as I have been working too much the past few days. On Wednesday I was still editing a dreadful analysis piece until 11:30 pm so until the next day I was so exhausted and brain-dead.
And tonight, I finished the only article I wrote for the week past 6 pm when editors from East and Southeast Asia have already retired for the weekend. The rest of the week I was wrestling with a lot of articles that required a lot of brain cells to fix. All my requests for interview were ignored. It is indeed soul-crushing.
The government has now declared Metro Manila and nearby provinces to be under general community quarantine (GCQ) albeit with heightened restrictions and I really lost track of what is allowed and not allowed in the new lockdown-not-lockdown classification. I want to go diving but the daily new cases are still high at almost 7,000 as of today. I don’t know where I can go to have a breath of fresh air and a different scenery.
I’m so tired.
I need to be away, I guess. For a week. To where, I don’t know. To do what, I don’t know. Even though I’m fully vaccinated, I’m still not protected from Covid because of the low efficacy of Sinovac’s vaccine. This limits my options. Maybe I’ll just drive to nowhere.
I was working my ass off last week until late last night. Would you believe that I still edited a story at 11 pm while I was having a Zoom drinking session (e-numan) with friends? That’s how insane last week was.
I just wanted to curl up in bed today but I had to go to my hometown to fetch one of my girls as she got homesick. She says she misses me and the cats. Her sister stayed since she wanted to be with her grandma and cousins. And she wanted to ride the bike. Until MECQ (a.k.a. more lax lockdown) is still being implemented, we can’t ride our bikes here for leisure. UP is still closed to outsiders (i.e. joggers, bikers, etc). So my other daughter is better off staying with her grandma so she can somehow ride her bike near our house.
Tomorrow is my second vaccine dose. I read on my newsfeeds that some people’s reactions after the second shot are worse than when they had their first. Most of them complained of terrible non-stop headaches and body pain. Gee, I wonder how sick will I be tomorrow evening until Monday.
Meanwhile, ABS-CBN burned Duterte with this quote:
My cat, Sushi, still hates me. She’s hiding from me, under my bed, to be precise. When she feels a little bit social, I would take advantage of it and pour Betadine on her stitches and then she goes back snarling at me. Then she would then hide under the bed again, out of my reach.
Her sister, Kimchi, on the other hand, is almost back to normal and is taking advantage of my mommy guilt by begging for more wet food.
Later on Sushi sort of forgave me, but I think it’s conditional, because she got hungry. She finally got out and joined her sister but she’s still haughty, like she would rather die than beg for food. “No, hooman, I’m not yet forgiving you but I’m hungry,” she telepathically told me. Meanwhile, Kimchi has no shame and pulls my heartstrings by meowing like she’s in so much pain and dying.
My entire day was unproductive because I was troubleshooting personnel issues. Things were simpler when I just handle writing stories and editing. But managing people… It’s a whole different ballgame. Much of the stress of this particular job of mine is managing people and dealing with egos. I remember a microbiologist told me (can’t remember if she was my mom’s research assistant) that the reason she chose this field is because microorganisms are more predictable than people. They also don’t bite back or tear you down.
So I find that journalism is 10-20% writing and the rest is human relations. A big chunk of that is mind games or battle of wits, especially when dealing with big people or difficult interviewees. That’s why I always recommended to junior journos and journalism students 48 Laws of Power (full version, not the abridged) to be able to know how to deal with egos and cunning people. It also applies to people who deal with investments or trying to win consultancy contracts.
So it’s kind of double whammy if you’re in my position–managing people and balancing quality with limited resources. Should you let go of this resource because he is a poor performer and risk not being able to hire again due to budget constraints (because 🤦🏻♀️ pandemic)? Or you grin and bear it? It’s a constant battle. You deal with egos when pursuing stories to meet your KPIs, and outside of your KPIs you have to deal again with egos, culture, and self-esteem to keep the peace and have a fully functional team.
I finally brought my cats this morning to the Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) for spaying. I felt bad for them as they were meowing loudly like they were so tortured during the drive to PAWS. They’re not used to being in crates and being in the car because their vet is just walking distance from our apartment. They fasted for 12 hours (yes, I was able to make them fast!). Prior to fasting, I gave them heaps of wet food to make them happy before the surgery. It’s sort of a way for me to feel less guilty.
I felt compelled to give some kind of financial help to PAWS since they were sponsoring a lot of cats and dogs under rehab. Then I saw T-shirts for sale that I thought my girls would love as they had cat prints on them. Bought four before leaving and drove by our gate to hand it to our househelp to give to my girls. I then proceeded to drive to Shell to have my car’s engine oil changed and general check up.
And yes, I’m being productive while doing errands. I attended a Zoom press conference while waiting for the change oil to be finished. I managed to write 75% of the resulting story while still in the waiting lounge.
The mechanic told me my brake light is busted so after my car’s preventive maintenance service, I had to make an unscheduled trip to the auto electrical shop that has been my go-to service center for over 12 years. It turns out my reverse lights were also busted so I had all malfunctioning lights changed (reverse, brake, park, and plate number lights).
I also asked for a quote for the autolocks and car alarm and the estimated number of hours. So I will likely have it done by Tuesday, if all goes well (i.e. no important calls).
I finished the rest of my story at home and then drove back to PAWS to fetch my four-legged fur babies. When I arrived, they were no longer sedated and seemed glad to smell me and the interior of the car. Once inside the house, we could no longer contain them inside their cages. I then drove to Tiendesitas (pet section) to buy that Elizabethan collar/funnel collar a.k.a. cone of shame to keep the cats from licking their stitches. Plus more cans of wet food, kibbles, and cat litter.
My cats are very cunning. They still managed to remove the collars even if I had put them tightly around their necks. 🤦🏻♀️ I forget, cats are liquid!
And these critters could no longer be contained in their crates after having their fill of wet food (of course, gotta spoil them a bit after surgery!). So now we have to watch them carefully to keep them from licking their wounds. The volunteers at the center said I need to apply Betadine on their stitches to keep them somewhat sterile and bandages are a no-no. I hoped that this would discourage them from even tasting the surrounding skin as I imagine the iodine solution tastes baaaaadddd… But nope. Persistent cats are drying my patience. So I need to guard them inside my room to keep them from moving too much so they will not tear their stitches.
Oh dear, we’re only on our first day. 6 days to go.
So now my cats and I are all celibate for life. 😁🐈
I have so many things to be angry about these days, hence, the constant blogging. I do not have anybody to talk to in-person about these things these days and I can’t just constantly vent my anger on social media since I’m trying to avoid social media as it’s been adding to my anxiety.
This bullying by China is one of those things that’s eliciting so much rage inside me, which has attracted a lot of Chinese bots on my Twitter account. I don’t care if the CCP has been monitoring me. I don’t think I’m going back to Hong Kong soon.
‘Infuriating’, ‘heartbreaking’, says Robredo as Chinese ships chase Filipino vessel in West PH Sea
MANILA— Vice President Leni Robredo said Friday she was enraged and heartbroken that a Filipino vessel was driven out by Chinese ships inside the West Philippine Sea.
“When you watch the video, nakakagalit, nakakadurog ng puso na nangyayari ‘yon (it’s infuriating and heartbreaking that it’s happening) within our territory,” she told ANC’s “Headstart”.
The statement of the Armed Forces of the Philippines infuriates me even further, that they issued it on this day 79 years ago when thousands of Filipino and American soldiers died defending that last bastion but eventually Bataan fell. When they were defending the country from the Japanese invaders…take note of the word, INVADERS. Araw ng Kagitingan (Day of Valor) commemorates those who were lost during the Bataan Death March but the statement of the today’s soldiers completely annihilates the essence of the word valor. They are allowing Filipinos to be bullied 90 nautical miles off Palawan…IT’S CLEARLY FUCKING WITHIN OUR TERRITORY!
Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana was supposed to give a press conference earlier this week but it seemed like he was gagged; he said he is cancelling the briefing because he tested positive for COVID-19 but is asymptomatic. This administration conveniently uses COVID as an excuse whenever they 1) want to gag somebody; or 2) don’t want to face the media and be accountable to what was happening under their watch (I’m looking at you, PNP Chief Debold Siñas!).
We’re so fucked up. We exchanged our sovereignty for vaccines.
If I have a choice, I wouldn’t be taking that vaccine. But it’s Sophie’s choice—it’s between me surviving so my children can grow up with a responsible parent until they become adults or they lose their mother early either to COVID or lasting effects or complications from COVID (if I initially survive hospitalization or a similar set-up).
I remember growing up with so much rage inside me that I usually locked myself up in my room to write in my journal to release my pent-up fury. In elementary, I tinkered with the computer, that big beige box that only had a black screen with green or white texts. I had to boot from DOS using a floppy disk before powering up WordStar to write my journal entries that I saved in 5.25″ floppy disks. I was channeling my inner Doogie Howser.
Then I moved on to creating my notebook journals where I poured my soul. My mom said she was worried about me when I was in high school because I was always in my room and she thought I was turning into a some sort of wacko but she didn’t know that I needed solitude to be able to write. But come to think of it, because of this rage, I became a writer.
I wanted to buy my own typewriter then so I can write my manuscripts the old fashioned way. I was so in-love with the image of a writer, and later on of a journalist, hunched over a typewriter trying to beat the deadline. But I had to content myself with just using the communal computer at home to write my short stories and novellas that I distributed to friends. When I was in high schooI, I started publishing in a literature magazine of national circulation. I received letters from readers, even from abroad, who liked my stories. Then I started publishing my articles on the Philippine Daily Inquirer when I was in college. When I tell friends from PDI that I started as a lifestyle journo for their newspaper, they were surprised that I didn’t continue writing for them. I told them I tried applying for Inquirer Libre, the defunct tabloid that they used to distribute in the MRT, but the interviewers didn’t like me. I remember they laughed at the fact that I was a lifestyle writer and mentioned something unflattering about Tim Yap and his ilk (for the record, I didn’t hang out with them–they don’t even know I existed!). That unfortunate interview was a blessing because I went in a different direction–a much better direction, I should say.
So yeah, it was rage that started me into writing. Developing this craft is a lifetime occupation; it never stops. So when somebody asks me, when did you start writing? I would answer him/her, I started at 10 years old, when I was copying Doogie Howser, which was my favorite TV show when I was a kid. Neil Patrick Harris is still a favorite, 31 years later.