This song by Breaking Benjamin has been swirling inside my head that I had to play and sing it so it will die down. I have stripped this alternative metal song down to its essence.
For posterity’s sake. So that my children will remember me like this when I’m gone.
I was sooooo exhausted from work and my body couldn’t wait for the Holy Week holidays to start. Right after we did our grocery shopping last night I just dropped dead on my bed like this:
That must be around 8:30 pm.
My Sushi loves me 😁❤️ and joined me in my weariness.
When I woke up at 5 am, she was still with me.
Not the Doctor
When this song by Alanis Morisette came out in 1997, I didn’t really understand the real meaning of this. Still I kept on singing this one because it was catchy. Twenty-six years after, I now fully embrace what it’s all about—co-dependence. Now singing this brings a different kind of sting that makes my heart bleed.
I don’t want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don’t want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer and
I don’t want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don’t want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don’t want to be your babysitter
You’re a very big boy now
I don’t want to be your mother
I didn’t carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back doorVisiting hours are nine to five and if I show up at ten past six
Well, I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctorI don’t want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
And I don’t want to be your other half, I believe that one and one make two
I don’t want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face
At midnight, hey
What are you hungry for?
I don’t want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don’t want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I’m afraid of heights
I don’t want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the windowVisiting hours are nine to five and if I show up at ten past six
Well, I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctorI don’t want to live on someday when my motto is last week
And I, I don’t want to be responsible for your fractured heart
And it’s wounded beat and
I don’t want to be a substitute for the smoke you’ve been inhaling
Well, what do you thank me
What do you thank me for?Visiting hours are nine to five and if I show up at ten past six
Well, I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctor
First of all, I was successful with braised tofu. It was supposed to be dubu jorim but I didn’t have gochugaru because the last batch I had got discolored so I threw it out. What I did was to substitute it with ma po tofu sauce that I always had in my freezer.
I added ma po tofu sauce slowly according to the spice tolerance of the Demolition Twins.
Step 1: saute tofu in oil with onions and garlic
Step 2): add the sauce
Step 3): top with sesame oil, sesame seeds, and green onions
But I don’t have green onions, I used leeks
INGREDIENTS
1 tbsp cooking oil
1 package (1 lb) firm tofu or medium-firm
3 cloves garlic minced
1/2 onion diced
2 green onion chopped, divided
1 chili pepper chopped, optional
1/2 tsp each sesame oil and toasted sesame seeds for garnish
Sauce
4 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp mirin
1/2 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp Gochugaru (Korean chili flakes) or crushed red pepper to taste
1/2 cup water
It was lovely. Twin I ate it for breakfast.
I read a social media post about the pretentiousness of people when they put titles in their bio on their LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram accounts. The post said “content creator” is the new Krusty Krab, alluding to the “workplace” that people who really have no workplace or steady jobs put on their bio.
The Krusty Krab is a fictional fast food restaurant in the American animated television series SpongeBob SquarePants. It is famous for its signature burger, the Krabby Patty, the formula to which is a closely guarded trade secret. The restaurant was founded by Eugene H. Krabs, who is also the owner and manager
Wikipedia
The post says the job “content creator” doesn’t mean anything because anybody with a phone can be a content creator. Worse, these are wannabe influencers who end up being entitled and perpetuate the beggar mentality.
The post also mentioned something about having CEO as their job title in their “content creating company” or marketing company (or whatever racket they’re doing) devalues the meaning of a CEO—just to sound important. Like what rich kids do when they couldn’t find jobs after they graduate. They create their own companies, file with the SEC with the help of their rich parents, et voila! They are now CEOs of XYZ corporation even without having legit businesses.
Why am I writing about this?
This is part of the seminar that I would give students from my undergrad college on 17 April. Part of it is teaching kids how to uncover fraud, fake credentials, and doing background checks before doing an interview or if you should give credence to whatever a person is saying.
I’m drafting the outline of my seminar and I’m looking for materials to help me drive the point. In the real world, I could point to a number of examples but I may get sued if my audience suddenly start messaging the fakes. 🤣
If you’re an influencer making money, fine go ahead and be a content creator. But it is what it is and do not make it more than that. Padding your credentials makes you look sillier. The same goes for some people I know and talked to…and OMG I got into a crazy situation before!
Almost a decade ago, I attended a conference and this guy was one of the panel speakers. He was talking about the pharma industry so of course I interviewed him and asked him about this pharma company that his family owns (and his bio in the conference says he was a director). When I wrote the story, I got a call from the same pharma company and they were asking me to take down the story because this guy was no longer part of the board and whatever he said doesn’t hold water. I was shocked because I researched him while I was in the conference and Google said he was what he claimed he was.
Some of my sources told me there was a family feud and this guy’s cousins ousted him from the board. He was basically a fraud. My HQ was in a quandary over what to do with my story. I can’t remember if we took it down or we just made corrections in my story—I buried it in the deep recesses of my brain because those were some of the most agonizing two weeks of my life.
What made the situation worse was, the entries that indicated he was a director of this company had disappeared! I wasn’t able to get a screenshot. 🤦🏻♀️ Good thing the company didn’t take any legal action against me because they knew it wasn’t my fault since it was this ousted guy who was masquerading as somebody he was not. I and the conference organizers were duped.
And a few mins of Googling now shows me that the cousins had been suing one another, with the latest suit was filed in 2021. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Ah deep fakes. Go get real jobs, people!!!
Since I was able to fully get the feel of my empty house yesterday, I initially got my layouting skills to work. In my head.
I’m afraid though that the new cat litter box is too short.
Must get ready for the girls’ graduation dress-shopping. The grad ceremonies will be next month—when I’m in Singapore 😭. But what can I do? I already planned this SG training and conferences in January. 😑 Let their dad be a dad once and have him attend their big day.
And yep, I overspent today. Not only on their clothes but also on my eyes. I was supposed to have my new toric contact lenses made but it turns out my nearsightedness worsened to -4.50 and my astigmatism to 150. This happens every six months 😭.
That’s what I get for working on the computer for more than 8 hrs a day. So I have to order new lenses for my glasses and new toric contact lenses + reading glasses. Yes, I’m at that age that I have to remove my eye glasses to draw or use my cellphone. I can’t invest in progressive lenses because my myopia worsens every six months. 😑 So I’d rather do the old school thing—just remove my eye glasses when I need to read/draw. But when I’m using contacts, I just can’t do that, right? That’s why I need the reading glasses 🤦🏻♀️.
I really must be careful with spending these days because I haven’t had the quotation for my water system yet.
Why is it Monday again?! I mean, I barely had time to rest and recover from working my ass off last week and here I am, mentally preparing myself again for work.
I drove from QC at 6:30 am just to do this speedtest.
It’s still giving me crappy speed. I’m paying for 500 Mbps and I couldn’t even reach half of that. They made me drive here this morning to test this and now they’re not responding.
I’ve been pestering them on Twitter and asked for assistance from their corp comm because I cannot have slow internet for my job. I do video interviews and it’s embarassing if I get pixellated or disconnected during calls.
I only had coffee this morning since my dinner last night. My girls and I opted for less meat or no meat dish so I made cold soba again with strips of scrambled egg, kimchi and leeks for toppings.
Meanwhile, Twin A has been busy making digital art using Krita. She’s a lot better than I am.
I’m still waiting for Converge to get back to me. I need to rush back to QC before the weekenders clog the provincial roads near the hot spring resorts. My girls and I are supposed to go shopping for their graduation dresses and a new swimsuit for Twin I. She has outgrown hers again after 6 months 🤦🏻♀️.
The download speed has improved but the upload speed is still 🤦🏻♀️. It’s already 1:33 pm and I’m still here. Not yet done with this Internet problem. I bet the traffic approaching the hot springs area is already terrible.
I left my house at around 3 pm. I’m with SIL again and we’re up to no good. We went to Mitsukoshi in BGC and ended up with these:
My friend M told me he needs to vent out his frustration with his boss and we need to go out for drinks. I told him, better if we go eat at my apartment on Holy Wednesday with L and Mdz so I can cook gyudon and kimchi jjgae and prepare some tuna sashimi or sushi for them.
He said it will be an unholy Wednesday 🤣
I think I gave too big a tip to the installers 🤔 I was just overjoyed that I finally have internet. Wohoo! The essentials are already in my home. I just need to have the water pressure booster, pressure tank, extra buffer, and overhead water tank because my current water pressure is too weak.
I left QC at 6:30 so I was just ahead of the installers who promptly started working on my cables at 9 am. Since I still don’t have the front stairs, I used my fire exit to enter my house, like a burglar 😂.
This was taken at noon, but the heat was bearable even with just the wall fan for ventilation. All the insulation on the dry wall (in my room) and the ceiling helped a lot in keeping the room—the entire house—cooler than the next door house. It’s also cooler because I’m surrounded by trees and moutains. When I was younger, I took for granted those things. After living for over 20 years in the city, I welcome these sights again.
Oops, my window screen has yet to be installed.
I think my father will be proud of me. I had my house built, albeit small, without any debt, at a time when interest rates are already stressing my friends who are paying their mortgage on their condos. Made with better quality materials, too.
After uploading that 1000+ word article, I drove back to Metro Manila to attend an awards event involving banks. Investment banks. Of course, I had to come! That’s my thing.
But the thing is, I forgot to bring proper shoes. You see, I drove to my tiny house in my workout gear because I know I will be climbing on the ladder of my fire exit. My plan was to take a shower at my mom’s house and change into a dress…
So when I got to Greenbelt, I braved it and walked to H&M in my sneakers and dress to buy the last pair of mules in nude color.
I should go back to long distance walking. I look pregnant again. 😑 How can three weeks of that make a difference? I’m moderating a panel discussion in our conference in Singapore next month so I shouldn’t look like a blimp.
Here’s to extreme makeover…
But maybe I can lose weight in time if I start packing now for the move?