I drove for a little over four hours on Tuesday to attend a conference. I only stayed for two hours, did two interviews, and I drove back home because I was scared of the rush hours. I may get trapped inside my car again for hours. 🫠

I was so tired that I think I was already asleep before 10 pm. Then on Wednesday I just spent the entire day in bed, sleeping and watching videos. It’s my mind and body trying to recover from the horrors of driving through the Christmas rush.

I have no rational explanation why the volume of cars exponentially grow during this season.

Finally, I was able to write today and be a bit productive. I think I may need to get out and work in a co-working space tomorrow because I may just  sleep again.

Only a few more days…

I live at the foot of a mountain. It’s raining. It’s cold and wet. I just want to curl up in my bed with a book or watch a movie on my tablet.

It’s a holiday today, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

But I have an interview at 3 pm and I chased this CEO for months. 😭 I have a conference tomorrow the entire day. Two weeks of slogging through this festive season. I just need to get past this week…

Yesterday I was alone at home. Twin I was at Festival Mall in Alabang to celebrate her classmate’s/friend’s birthday with their other classmates. Twin A was with another friend and they went to another town to watch a district meet basketball game. I had all the freedom in the world to do crafts.

What used to take me days to finish by hand only took two hours.

In short, we are fucked.

I am a god mother now to my high school friend’s youngest son. She’s 46 yrs old. I don’t know how she can manage but I guess she still has the stamina. Me at 46 yrs old >>>>> nope, I’m so done with this baby thing. 😬

A couple of high school friends and classmates were there and it was nice catching up with them.

I finally replied to that email. It took me a week so I can be detached and unemotional. I sent to two of my bffs the draft before I sent it to the email sender. My bffs said it was a good response. “This response shows grace,” one of them said.

So that chapter is closed and the ball is in her court. It’s up to her if she will still respond or communicate with me in the future. Either way, I’m ok with it. I mean I have no ill feelings towards her and I also cannot control how she perceives things or me — that is her truth, even though mine is different. I can only control how I react to her and the situation, but  as my bff said, I decided to show grace.

For me, that is the mature thing to do.

I also do not want to give too much weight to this. Life is too short to be griping about things I cannot control.

Come Christmas season, the traffic jam is no longer confined during rush hours. It’s now all hours. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I left at 10 am, thinking that the rush hour traffic has already eased. Nope. The provincial road from my hometown to the next is clogged. It’s just the sheer volume of private vehicles doubles or tripples during this time of the year and I do not have a rational explanation for this. 🫠

I first went to an expo at SMX at 1 pm and got people to talk to for interviews in the following days. Then I jumped to Makati for a Christmas cocktail/dinner with a bunch of people I am so happy to talk to. Nope, not friends but they’re sources. But before I was able to get to the hotel, it took me almost an hour to find a parking slot in Glorietta. 😭

There are just too many people shopping.

I got two big leads and all that driving today is so worth it. I’ve got two upcoming interviews and two published stories the past three days so I’m not going to end the year super dry. I hope I can bag more interviews tomorrow while I’m on editing duty.

Only two more weeks and I’m off!!!

I’ve been bogged down emotionally by somebody who sent me an email that made me feel like I’m the most evil person there is. Like I never did anything good.

I let two of my bffs read the email and one of them said, this person sounds like she is going through something that’s why the email comes across as hysterical and very, very hurt. It’s like the world has hurt her so much and I just happen to be one of the actors in it.

I haven’t responded yet as I feel I should be unemotional and detached before replying. You can’t put out fire with fire.

Now that I feel like I’m in that stage that I am objective and distant, I think I can type that email. Tomorrow probably.

You know, holding on to hurts like that is not going to help one to reach peace or find happiness. Everything is temporal, so all of these things — the perceived unworthiness and insecurity — and like the world owes you something…all of these things don’t matter in the end. We just pass through this world. Everything is fleeting. Pain is not forever, just like happiness. It is a gift because you know that everything is temporary, it becomes more beautiful. Like the sakura; their beauty does not rest on the blooms alone. Knowing that they will only bloom for two weeks make them more precious.

I did my best today. I will do my best tomorrow. I did my best for this person. I will do my best for other people.