Since I was able to fully get the feel of my empty house yesterday, I initially got my layouting skills to work. In my head.

I’m afraid though that the new cat litter box is too short.

Must get ready for the girls’ graduation dress-shopping. The grad ceremonies will be next month—when I’m in Singapore 😭. But what can I do? I already planned this SG training and conferences in January. 😑 Let their dad be a dad once and have him attend their big day.

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And yep, I overspent today. Not only on their clothes but also on my eyes. I was supposed to have my new toric contact lenses made but it turns out my nearsightedness worsened to -4.50 and my astigmatism to 150. This happens every six months 😭.

That’s what I get for working on the computer for more than 8 hrs a day. So I have to order new lenses for my glasses and new toric contact lenses + reading glasses. Yes, I’m at that age that I have to remove my eye glasses to draw or use my cellphone. I can’t invest in progressive lenses because my myopia worsens every six months. 😑 So I’d rather do the old school thing—just remove my eye glasses when I need to read/draw. But when I’m using contacts, I just can’t do that, right? That’s why I need the reading glasses 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I really must be careful with spending these days because I haven’t had the quotation for my water system yet.

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Why is it Monday again?! I mean, I barely had time to rest and recover from working my ass off last week and here I am, mentally preparing myself again for work.

I drove from QC at 6:30 am just to do this speedtest.

It’s still giving me crappy speed. I’m paying for 500 Mbps and I couldn’t even reach half of that. They made me drive here this morning to test this and now they’re not responding.

I’ve been pestering them on Twitter and asked for assistance from their corp comm because I cannot have slow internet for my job. I do video interviews and it’s embarassing if I get pixellated or disconnected during calls.

I only had coffee this morning since my dinner last night. My girls and I opted for less meat or no meat dish so I made cold soba again with strips of scrambled egg, kimchi and leeks for toppings.

Meanwhile, Twin A has been busy making digital art using Krita. She’s a lot better than I am.

I’m still waiting for Converge to get back to me. I need to rush back to QC before the weekenders clog the provincial roads near the hot spring resorts. My girls and I are supposed to go shopping for their graduation dresses and a new swimsuit for Twin I. She has outgrown hers again after 6 months 🤦🏻‍♀️.

The download speed has improved but the upload speed is still 🤦🏻‍♀️. It’s already 1:33 pm and I’m still here. Not yet done with this Internet problem. I bet the traffic approaching the hot springs area is already terrible.

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I left my house at around 3 pm. I’m with SIL again and we’re up to no good. We went to Mitsukoshi in BGC and ended up with these:

My friend M told me he needs to vent out his frustration with his boss and we need to go out for drinks. I told him, better if we go eat at my apartment on Holy Wednesday with L and Mdz so I can cook gyudon and kimchi jjgae and prepare some tuna sashimi or sushi for them.

He said it will be an unholy Wednesday 🤣

I think I gave too big a tip to the installers 🤔 I was just overjoyed that I finally have internet. Wohoo! The essentials are already in my home. I just need to have the water pressure booster, pressure tank, extra buffer, and overhead water tank because my current water pressure is too weak.

I left QC at 6:30 so I was just ahead of the installers who promptly started working on my cables at 9 am. Since I still don’t have the front stairs, I used my fire exit to enter my house, like a burglar 😂.

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This was taken at noon, but the heat was bearable even with just the wall fan for ventilation. All the insulation on the dry wall (in my room) and the ceiling helped a lot in keeping the room—the entire house—cooler than the next door house. It’s also cooler because I’m surrounded by trees and moutains. When I was younger, I took for granted those things. After living for over 20 years in the city, I welcome these sights again.

Oops, my window screen has yet to be installed.

I think my father will be proud of me. I had my house built, albeit small, without any debt, at a time when interest rates are already stressing my friends who are paying their mortgage on their condos. Made with better quality materials, too.

After uploading that 1000+ word article, I drove back to Metro Manila to attend an awards event involving banks. Investment banks. Of course, I had to come! That’s my thing.

But the thing is, I forgot to bring proper shoes. You see, I drove to my tiny house in my workout gear because I know I will be climbing on the ladder of my fire exit. My plan was to take a shower at my mom’s house and change into a dress…

So when I got to Greenbelt, I braved it and walked to H&M in my sneakers and dress to buy the last pair of mules in nude color.

I should go back to long distance walking. I look pregnant again. 😑 How can three weeks of that make a difference? I’m moderating a panel discussion in our conference in Singapore next month so I shouldn’t look like a blimp.

Here’s to extreme makeover…

But maybe I can lose weight in time if I start packing now for the move?

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A post shared by Yuliya Podlinnova | Watercolor Courses & Tutorials (@whiteheartdesign)

I miss drawing. I’m a crappy watercolorist, a so-so pencil/charcoal pretender artist, and I need to practice some more. Only I can’t. I’m inundated with work 😥 The only creative thing I did today was writing over 1,000 words about private jets and MROs.

I need to do something with my hands soon or else I will go nuts. I envy my kids, they’re able to keep their hands busy with creative stuff. Twin I was able to finish her vest, while Twin A has finished a hand warmer (which serves no purpose in this 37-degree heat) and has now moved on to making a beanie.

Next week is Holy Week and I don’t plan to go anywhere after our staycation in a hotel somewhere in Ortigas. Maybe then I will be able to finish a book and do some drawings. Attend church service online. Metro Manila will be flushing out humanity starting Wednesday and good luck to all motorists out there. The provincial roads and airports will be in chaos.

It will be too hot to watch the usual senakulo (the passion of the Christ) in Intramuros or anywhere for that matter.

Wait, what did we do last year? Ah good thing about blogging is that I get to review what I did or where I was last year or two years ago. So last year we were here at the apartment just chilling, we watched the procession of the saints in UP campus, and walked around for exercise.

I want to watch a sunset by the seaside. 😢 One of my sources in Singapore told me he will be in Palawan next month for a wedding. I told him I envy him because I really wanted to go back there but I’m too busy. He said, “I learned that the world will not end if I take a holiday. So go take that vacation.” Well he just came back from Spain this week. Ah to be earning well and have a well-off family, too. 🙃

Anyway, tomorrow I will be driving to my house because Converge will be installing my broadband connection and I need to make sure the box and the modem will be placed correctly. I want my pc and my kids’ pc towers to use ethernet cables to maximize the 500 Mbps that I availed. I was able to wire this apartment with ethernet cables and run two routers so I will do the same for my tiny house.

Oh dear, I need to arrive there by 8 am because I have a presentation to the commercial team at 9 am. And at 6 pm I have an event in Makati. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I need to bring extra clothes because I will be coming from a construction site and I will be climbing ladders.

Nope, this is not a constellation. It’s the result of a diagnostic test on my cellphone, which has ghosting issues. The screen is doing its own thing, clicking on things that shouldn’t be clicked but unresponsive in places where it should be.

I did a factory reset of my phone, which made things worse because this resulted in me being locked out of my company apps and authenticator app because they thought I was logging in multiple times. I almost went out of my mind because I couldn’t access my banking apps.

I immediately went to OPPO service center in SM North Annex first thing in the morning yesterday. They replaced my defective touch screen panel for free as it was still under warranty plus it was a factory defect. IN JUST ONE HOUR. 😭 I was so relieved. I was bracing for 2 weeks without a large capacity phone.

In between editing, I was trying to recover my apps and login credentials. I’m still not done. 🫠

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If you can get your point across in an email, no need to have a call and waste time. 🤬

There’s this editor who lost all his reporters because he’s such a…the worst manager you can ever have. He’s a narcissist, micromanager, and really bad person in every aspect. Now he messaged me and wants to have a “chat” when whatever needs to be said can be told in an email. He said, no, because your reporters need to be told how to use this list of leads…

I told him that following up of leads is part of our workflow and once they know about the list (that he has been pushing down our throats)–which I did inform them about it two weeks ago–they will use it however they can. No need to micromanage them regarding that. They are not kids anymore and they’re intelligent enough. It’s not more than 15 mins, right? Then you can get the point across via email; we need to be efficient with the use of our time, I said.

This is one of the reasons why my team does not harbor ill-feelings towards me because I do not micromanage them and I give them credit, be it a good performance or understanding them how they work—which is to say we all have different styles. I play off their strengths and weaknesses with each other. I fight for their rights and benefits. And I never ever humiliated them—which this editor has been doing. I poached two of his reporters and one assistant to keep them within the company because all three where already interviewing with other companies so they can escape him. I absorbed one reporter into my team while I helped facilitate the transfer of the other one to another team. As for the assistant, I helped him to become a reporter in another team.

I do not have a high turnover rate, unlike this editor (and he has no reporter left for a year now). I had just one reporter resign (my friend) and I learned (from another colleague) that she really didn’t want to leave but she had to because of salary issues and promotion–which I had fought very hard for the moment I took over the team. When my bosses made the counter-offer, I was told she thought hard about it but in the end she had to turn them down because the other company already secured her SG employment pass.

Anyway, this editor is flexing his–whatever he imagines he has—thinking he can micromanage my team through me. Nope, over my dead body. Or if he’s pulling rank, I can gently remind him that in the grand scheme of things, he is not higher than me. I needed to put my foot down. There are so many things on my plate and his intention to dominate over reporters should be nipped in the bud.

I’m a bitch if I need to be.

They were selling frozen strawberries at Save More today so I bought a bag. I was hankering for milkshakes so this is what I came up with.

Condensed milk, full cream milk, ice cubes, and frozen strawberries. That’s it. Refreshing. 😘

This heat makes me want to go to the seaside and dive. But I can’t in the next two months because I’m too busy with work and with moving houses. Going to Plunge Dive in Pasig can’t satisfy my desire to dive in a natural environment. I even had a dream of diving in Caliraya Lake…my desperation manifested itself in my dream. And I didn’t care that the lake was murky. When I woke up, I was scratching my head and laughed at my insanity.

As part of my “love thyself” therapy, I had been using scents in my room to make me feel cozy and happy. I ran out of lovely-smelling oils and water-based scents for my humidifier so I shifted to candles. When I was solo in my 20s, I surrounded myself with scented candles. It was the few affordable luxuries I could have at that time. But then I had partners so I had to ditch those because they don’t like scents. Or the scents that I choose. I had to prioritize their preference over mine. Always had to consider their needs over mine, their wants over mine.

In the process, I lost myself. What I like. What I am.

But now, to hell with it! I’m doing what pleases me. No need to consider anyone else.

So this is what annoys me last Thursday with my colleague. It was like he was playing matchmaker with me and his friend. I outright told him that, “JC, you’re out of line. You know my situation and what I’ve been through so cut that out. I like what I am right now.”

He backtracked and said, no no no, I have no intention blah blah blah. “If something happens, great. If it doesn’t then it’s just a night out with my favorite people.” Good thing I had my SIL with me so I had an excuse to leave early.

So yesterday, JC and I were talking about his plan to buy a flat in Makati that was repossesed by BDO so he could rent it out either long-term or for AirBnb. He kept interjecting the name of his friend into the conversation and I kept on bringing back the convo to that original subject matter. I’m so annoyed. I stopped talking to JC and kept quiet until he leaves for HK tomorrow. He’s such an idiot.

I just agreed to go out in Poblacion because when I’m in HK, he and G treat me to lunch or a night out at Junel’s. But I don’t think I will do a repeat of this. I don’t want my space be invaded.

I realized that I hate it when people do that to me. My fairy gaymother always pesters me about dating and sleeping with other people. Like hell no.

At times I’m lonely but I value this freedom more than the need to be less lonely. I like this freedom to put my needs and wants first before anything else. To choose things I prefer, not because it’s what my partner likes. I finally have a voice.

It was really exhausting having a partner. Catering to his needs, wants, and caprices. Bearing his burden, his problems, his irritations. It was never about me, what I liked, what I needed, what I desired. It took quite a while before I found myself again. To have time for myself and to listen deep inside to follow what I love.

So no, thank you. If I become a witch with a dozen cats, then so be it. Until I meet somebody who will love and respect me for what I am and not for what I can give, recognize my wants and needs and that I am not a human appliance, then I will stay as what I am now. Because I finally found myself again and I will not lose her for the sake of a partner and be dragged around again.

I just wish other people would leave me be. I’m fine. If I want to, I will. I will even have a red neon sign on my forehead that says “I am single, ready to mingle.” But no.

Go away.

So in the meantime, I will be busy doing homey things because those are ME. The things that I like. I don’t have to pretend that I’m a girl about town. I don’t want and never have wanted to hang out at Poblacion–it’s not even my kind of crowd 😑. I’m done with that kind of night out. We can talk about anything under the sun, from black swan events to Brendan Fraser factoids over coffee or craft beer. But I’ll never pretend what I never was and never will be.

And right off the bat, somebody will have to accept and love the things I love the most so that I don’t have to choose. I will not add nor I will not shave off any part of me to accommodate another person. And if and when it comes down to that, I will always have to choose me and my sanity. The fact that I had to choose means that person doesn’t accept me, my loved ones, and in short—doesn’t love me.

So go away.