After two network outages this week, Converge finally got it right. My speeds are on par with my QC connection. I can finally work in peace, knowing that my video calls wouldn’t get disrupted by slow connection.

On the last day of my leave of absence, I’m still answering emails when I shouldn’t. Oh well…I’m still far from being finished putting things to order. At least now I have my work station set up. I didn’t change it much from the last time except for neater cable management and less extension cords because this small room has six wall outlets. SIX! The electrician told my contractor that he has never seen a room filled with power outlets. 🤣 It’s better to have more than less.

And finally, I have my airconditioner installed.

Twin I and I walked to pick up our laundry, bought a 10-meter ethernet cable, bought pastries, and had copies of the keys in our new house made all in one go. On foot. The beauty of being in this location is that you don’t have to bring a car to do errands (parking is a nightmare, anyway) . Everything is within reach.

I realized that my clean laundry was too much for us two so we rode the jeep. I taught Twin I what sign board to watch out for to get home.

I realized that I’m already running out of shelves. I have too much food or ingredients for cooking. Oh well, what can I do? I’m a cook. I cooked last night and it feels great that I don’t have to deal with pests. And my kitchen is clean.

It’s deep into the night and I realize that I’m the only one making noise here—playing music. It didn’t bother me before when I was visiting but now as a permanent resident, my city ways may have to change.

It doesn’t feel like home yet as we have yet to establish rituals and habits. We haven’t settled into a routine. It still feels like we’re renting on AirBnB and we’re just here for a short-term stay. I don’t know, I feel like I’m still floating, anchorless, aimless…

They adjusted slowly. They’re still terrified of strangers entering our house. But at least they’re now ok and have not attempted to escape. But they still seek comfort in me. For two nights in a row, they’ve slept at my feet and didn’t leave all night.

Here is exhibit A. Kimchi is very curious about the various sounds in the province. Cicadas in the morning and a variety of bird calls. Of course, an occasional dog barking, and no cars.

I need to install cat climbers so they can try the catwalk a.k.a the top of the kitchen cabinets.

I’m still unpacking our stuff. I haven’t even brought down the things stuffed inside my car so I couldn’t pick up my laundry at the laundry shop outside the uni campus. I have a long way to go.

But good news is that I managed to get four meetings in Bangkok plus one meeting with a journo I plan to hire there. I need one more and I’m all set.

I have another meeting on Tuesday in BGC so I need to maximize my drive and set up more meetings with other people.

I’m supposed to be out of touch from work but here I am, replying to emails in between hauling boxes. I also had to talk to our Philippines reporter regarding how to angle the lead she got from an ambush interview.

No rest for the weary.

And weary I am. Very. I woke up aching all over from cleaning, carrying stuff (I carried Twin I’s old table!) outside for pickers to take, and packing the rest inside my car yesterday. I was just fueled by adrenalin and I only had breakfast to provide me with energy the entire day.

I HAVE TOO MANY STUFF!

I slept early last night because I had to take diphenhydramine, which knocks me out. Twin A, my sis in law, and my mom had the hives. The forest is releasing pollens again or something else. Early to bed, early to rise so at 6 am I started tidying up. I barely made a dent to my unpacking and tidying. Let me leave that for another day.

I left for QC at around 10:30 am and went straight to Unionbank to claim my new debit card to replace the expired one. Oh good, this one is good until 2030. We don’t have a Unionbank branch in my hometown so if I do need to physically do banking, I would have to do it in the next town or in Makati.

I started pulling out our stuff (didn’t realize how very important the things we left behind!) at 1 pm. Finished at 6 pm. After that I took a shower and cleaned the bathroom at the same time, for the last time…

Just how much did we leave behind? My car is so full (my Tetris skills again at work), with the 2nd and 3rd passenger seats at the back folded.

I am thankful that we had the lockdowns here and not in a condo because of its strategic location and it was less confining despite having six people living here. Imagine if we were six in a small two-bedroom condo 🤦🏻‍♀️, sharing elevators with hundreds of people, it would have driven me mad. The proximity to UP Diliman was heaven-sent as well as it provided us with green open spaces when we needed it the most.

Thank you for the five years. It was home. ❤️ I did my best I could manage under the difficult circumstances.

I woke up at 5:30 am and started packing the remaining things that should be packed. But it isn’t enough. We had to leave ASAP because the cats were freaking out, hyperventilating, and felt extra warm to the touch. Moving is so stressful to completely indoor cats.

I left the girls’ pc towers and a lot of computer paraphernalia at the apartment and the plants. I need to come back for them tomorrow.

Back at the new house, it’s complete chaos, but haha the priority was to find a new home for our diving and camping gear.

Our home may be small but it’s customized according to our needs and hobbies. According to how we live. We don’t watch TV that much so the TV/lounge area is small. I devoted the majority of the living area to the kitchen because I cook a lot. And oh, we do a lot of laundry so I dedicated a large area downstairs for that.

And finally after several hours and much coaxing from the three of us, the cats felt more confident and comfortable exploring our new home.

My high school classmate-vet said that if a cat is too stressed, they can collapse. He told me to keep them in a dark room with minimal noise. They’re like kids under the spectrum that’s why the react so much to too much stimuli, he said. So I followed his advice and covered their cages and told the girls to keep their noise low. We kept their cages near their new litter boxes and their water fountain. We tried coaxing them with wet food but to my frustration they ignored it for hours.

But at around 5 pm there was a breakthrough. Kimchi started nibbling on the cat treats.

I need to sleep early. I must go back for our other stuff tomorrow morning.

It’s now turned into this. Forlorn. Stripped of my spirit.

I’m not yet done emptying my drawers and dismantling my laundry area. I’m so exhaustee. Must wake up very early tomorrow to finish everything.

My friend, M, asked me when we had our drinks last Friday if I’m sad. He was more sad for me at that time. I said not yet because I was in the thick of taking down stuff. He said, “but it has been your home for the last five years, imagine that. It was yours.”

Now it has sunk in. This is like the first true home I had because the ones I lived in before weren’t mine in the sense I wasn’t allowed to personalize them. I couldn’t put my stamp on them. Plus I wasn’t comfortable in those houses at all. They weren’t home, I didn’t feel rested and protected. I didn’t feel nostalgic about them. This apartment is different; it felt like a cocoon for me.

Fare thee well.

We’re slowly erasing evidence of our existence in this apartment. Taking apart the things I have put together carefully throughout the five years we lived here.

I had kept the artworks up at the last minute because the moment I take them down automatically depersonalizes the space. Now it looks so barren, devoid of feeling that there was a family that once lived and loved in this place from 2018-2023. Members have come and gone one by one and now only four are left to strip away memories embedded in this home.

I woke up this morning at around 6 am, with my fairy lights, which I had coiled to prevent breakage, still lit. It gave me a bit of comfort, still a sign that this is my home, well, at least until Tue morning.

Twin I saw these lacy things and she said, “these are too sheer! It’s not even good for sleeping in. Are these sleepwear?”

Of course I didn’t answer her and proceeded to chuck these inside a plastic bag. I WILL BURN THESE when I get to our new house. Evidence of my being a human appliance and a sex slave to a man who didn’t even regard me as something more than that.

I need to pack my piano and the stuff in my drawers. And of course my work station.

---