To give me a mental and physical break, my sister came to be a substitute watcher while I had a “self-care” hiatus yesterday.
But in real life, it’s not true. I still had to deal with getting the partial billing, bringing docs to FMAB for the MRI schedule, and giving consent to do the biopsy. No complete departure from hospital life.
I had decided to ask for sedation for my daughter’s MRI because she’s having panic attacks with just the thought of going through another scan—this time an hours-long scan. The CT scan was a traumatic experience for her since the machine that injected the contrasting fluid was without any regard for her pain tolerance.
I can’t fault her as she was always in pain all over because the nurses in our last hospital weren’t skilled. 1) her IV insertion always had bloated and burst her veins that may have contributed to her fevers and they don’t check for that unless I called their attention; 2) she was poked all over because they ran out of healthy veins and extremities that were not black and blue from burst veins, her feet did not escape the IV insertion roulette; 3) it didn’t occur to them to use infant-sized needles to end her misery. It was only when we were boarding the ambulance when they thought of doing that.
That’s why our attending pediatrician in the last hospital is so frustrated. She’s my older sister’s best friend so she has our best interest at heart. She knew that we would only have the best care in PGH that’s why she was so insistent in transfering us here on Day 1. She herself is frustrated with nurses there because some just came fresh from school. They didn’t bother to know why simple things like this or that had to be done to the patient—ergo they don’t care how it is done.
I encountered a really dumb nurse there, I’m sorry to say, and she sent me off the rails. She always forgets to tell us important orders from the doctors like 1) take the TB meds on an empty stomach because my daughter’s nutrient absorption is next to nil; 2) the supplements needed to be stopped since that may send my daughter to hurl every little thing she ate because iron tastes nasty; this neglect did send her breakfast down the vomit pan; 3) the Pediasure is not needed soon, only when she’s on a liquid diet, which she didn’t have to go through, and yet this nurse kept harping that I buy it from outside ASAP. Like, hello! It’s fortified milk, it’s not medicine so buying it is not on the priority list and besides I couldn’t leave the hospital premises because we were supposed to be under Covid isolation. I told my sister I doubt this nurse will last long in a hospital abroad because she was just so stupid.
Beggars can’t be choosers, our family friend-pediatrician said. Private hospitals in the provinces had to accept all kinds of nurses because the turnover is high. I remember the NICU nurses (when twins stayed there for a month after birth) only had to do a year-long tour of duty before being accepted for jobs in the Middle East.
Our family friend-pediatrician was livid when Marcos declared that nurses who have yet to take or pass the boards should be accepted by hospitals nationwide to solve the staffing crisis. Here we are, already dealing with incompetent board-passers…how worse can it get?
When I was relating to our IDS our woes with multiple phlebitis, she assured me that our nurses now are already battle-hardened and some of them had been with PGH since she was a student. I told her, I know, since my parents had been patients here several times.
I think nurses here, despite being a government hospital with worn down walls and elevators constantly under repair, are compensated better than in private hospitals that are owned by large corporations and private equity firms. These owners squeeze every single drop of peso to give back to shareholders without any regard how this would translate to services. We’re dealing with life and death here. That’s why I commend Helen Dee for telling it to my face that she is not keen to profit from other people’s misery. “I cannot bear the thought of making business out of illness,” she told me. So I guess as long as she’s alive, Yuchengco Group will not go into the hospital business.
Anyway, I learned from classmates of the ex-husband a long time ago that they as nurses here had higher salary grades vs nurses in other govt hospitals and private institutions and they enjoy benefits like they can send their kids to UP-administered schools just like us since they’re considered UP employees. But of course the lure of higher pay abroad (London) sent them packing after xx number of years here.
In exchange, PGH nurses (and doctors) are worked to the ground since the cases here are some of the most confounding ones you would ever find.
I went to Robinsons to buy myself house clothes because most of the time I’m just in the room so might as well make myself comfortable and catch some zzz whenever I can because I haven’t had straight sleep for weeks now. Then my sister told me to have a massage, which I did. Had a two-hour massage, which I would like to have again when I get a substitute watcher.
There’s a small branch of Decathlon here so I bought Twin I a pair of shorts she could use while my sister teaches her the basics of volleyball. Twin I wanted to join the school team even without having any idea how painful it is 🤣. She is also running for class rep in their high school student government and one of their projects is fundraising for additional school lockers.
Then I took my sweet time dining at Yabu. The thought of having hospital cafeteria food for days again depresses me.
I was informed by our hema-onco fellow that the biopsy will be done on 12 Sept. We already have a schedule for the biopsy and yet the MRI is still up in the air. So what’s the point of having the MRI 🤣?
What confounds the doctors here is that the target organ is embedded deep within and they have no idea which organ was it. They are just guided by where my daughter’s pain was. The early CT scan reading was badly done since information was scant so they had to do 3D rendering and a possible rescan.
Now that fevers are gone, they are pulling out the last antibiotic. The IDS said the fevers that wouldn’t abate and vomiting could have been caused by Covid. That combined with 1) infection; 2) TB 3) inflamation from somewhere; 3) or malignancy.
Now the fevers have gone for two days now…my hopes are up.
After a few harrowing days of having my faith tested, I have finally found peace. I had been undergoing prayer and fasting every other day. And this is what my prayers have given me: a message that whatever is the result of the biopsy, it’s in God’s hands and He will take care of my girl. If it’s cancer, so be it. It’ll just be a longer battle for us. But I believe in the divine providence and grace and miracles do happen. Because this is no longer my battle nor my daughter’s battle.
So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
