We’re already in the northeast monsoon season or amihan and I am enjoying the hanging amihan (northeast monsoon breeze) outside my door. It’s dry but cooler. It’s so lovely to have this moment.

If my father were still alive, he would be sitting where I am sitting now everyday. He used to sit outside our screened porch every afternoon after work, to be with our dogs and cats at his feet. Either he would be smoking and drinking coffee or cutting his fingernails, or just hanging out with our pets. Even in our old bungalow, which was really small, about 100 sqm or less. He would sit outside, on the concrete ledge he built and just hang out in our tiny, tiny front yard.

I now know why he loves doing that.

It’s inexplicable but there’s some kind of peace in having your space, your own place in this world. It’s home. No one can take that away from you.

Speaking of my father, my mom and I bought flowers because the ones at my dad’s crypt were already dry.

We haven’t observed the Dia de Todos Los Muertos/Todos Los Santos the usual way this year (like probably the pandemic years) like my mom forcing us to pray the novena. We’re more casual now about it. Maybe because my cousins are holding the online novena for the dead for my mom/aunts and uncles so my mom is already satisfied.

Meanwhile, our stray visitor has already made herself comfortable.

Here she is, basking in the afternoon sun.

The male cat, George, never appeared on my doorstep again after Typhoon Egay. Now this calico sought shelter from my literal doorstep, bleeding, and very hungry. We kept feeding her at the bottom of our steps for several days now and treated her wound. She hasn’t left yet and my indoor calicos are angry. She’s very amiable and getting her inside the cage won’t be a problem, I guess. But I need to bring my own cats to the vet first on Monday to update their vaccines and for deworming before I bring this newcomer for treatment. For now, she’s ok as long as she’s fed and is away from other cats that are hurting her.

I don’t know what I would do with her. I don’t know if someone would adopt her if I get her fixed because we have so many stray cats in our area that people can just take their pick among them.

I’m starting to buy Christmas stuff from Lazada because this is the first Chtistmas we will be spending in our new home. I gave away our space-hogging Christmas tree to my cleaning lady. I don’t know how I will hang my Christmas lanterns but my contractor provided me with an electrical outlet outside my door, on the ceiling. However, it’s too high. I’m still figuring it out. 🤔

I will continue to offend you. *dirty finger* Your ships keep on attacking our fishermen, in our waters, in our country.

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My boss wants me to fly to HK mid-Nov because the global bosses are there. I won’t have any role there and I have minimal contacts there so it doesn’t make sense. What I need to pay attention to is Singapore–I’m in dire need of touching base with people there as there are so many things going on that I keep missing because I’m not physically there.

I just need a workable system now for my household to function even when I’m gone.

Another headache I need to tackle is Thailand. I just had a call with one of our commercial people and she said she couldn’t close a deal because of our lack of Thai content. It’s a large account. Cancellations, loss of potential revenue from deals that couldn’t be closed, lost opportunities…I just can’t. I asked her to push my bosses with an email citing the numbers. It’s really annoying that they’re looking at the wrong metrics for hiring additional resources. I cannot stretch myself too thinly to include Thailand into my areas to cover on the ground. It’s physically exhausting.

No one really understands Southeast Asia. 🤦‍♀️

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If I were be forced to choose what is my favorite song of all time, one that I don’t get tired of listening to, it’s this:

I think I’ve loved this since hearing this in 1997 or 1998.

If I want to be transported to another dimension, I listen to this:

Nancy Wilson is the most badass female guitarist out there but this song doesn’t showcase that. I just love her uncomplicated singing here that matched the ethereal melody. But if God would grant me a voice, I would ask for Ann Wilson’s.

Meanwhile, the best version of Californication is this. John and Flea just jamming at the intro is just *chef’s kiss*.

And this one, what the hell?! Prince really is an underrated guitar/bass player. What a smooth transition from lead guitar to bass playing. Whew!

And this is what I do on Friday nights: watch master drummers do a duet.

Mommy, why are the cats always in your room, Twin A asked me this afternoon.

“It’s because I’m their favorite human,” I replied.

“No, you’re not,” she insisted. She believed that the cats like them more because these felines kept on climbing on their bunk beds. Umm, they just like the bunk beds because they’re high.

“Yes, I am. They love sleeping here at night as well. They love staying here when I work. They feel secure with me,” I said.

Do they behave like dogs, like they wait for me by the window until I get home? Yes, when we still lived in the apartment in QC. Nowadays, they just sniff the air as if to say, “Oh, you’re back.” Then go on being their snooty selves.

But Sushi, she still wants to be let in my room in the middle of the night, every night. She always tries to open the door to my bedroom, making this scratching noise as if she’s digging her way under my door. Back in the apartment in QC, she could open the door to my bedroom whenever the door is not properly closed. She pushes the door with her paws by digging through the gap under the door or she puts all her body weight on the door.

This is the reason why I must vacuum clean my room every night at the highest setting—we have cat hair all over.

I say, they have adapted pretty well in their new home. My fear of them running away to go back to our old apartment didn’t happen (I’ve heard of horror stories from other pet owners that have moved houses). I was able to transition them successfully.

…

Meanwhile, I’ve been chosen again. This time it’s another calico. She keeps on begging for food at our stairs. For some strange reason, my indoor cats are not growling at the intruder. Maybe because she’s female and a calico? Maybe because they know she’s not a threat? I don’t know. My cats just listen to her meows and are just curious about this newcomer so they watch her through the glass. The neighborhood cats bully her (maybe because she’s still a kitten or a cat under one year old) so she has wounds. Twin I and I treated the bleeding wound on her head with betadine and antibiotic ointment.

I must trap her to get her to the vet. She may carry diseases that could be passed on to my cats so better have her fixed, dewormed, and vaccinated ASAP. Clean her and put her up for adoption. I cannot accommodate another cat because I have a tiny house. The maximum cat litter I can have is two. Indoor-outdoor cats can still have accidents inside the house and I don’t want a cat pooping all over the place. Our family cat when I was in my teens was an indoor-outdoor cat and she never had a litter box. So when my mom wasn’t able to open the windows or doors in time in the morning, that cat had accidents and normally her accidents happened in the downstairs bathroom. That’s why when my father died, we never had cats again because my mom hates cleaning cat accidents. My sisters just want the petting part of having a pet but not the hard work. That’s why all the pet chores like bathing the dogs and cats, bringing them to the vet, giving them their medicines when they’re sick, fell on me.

So there, another cat project for me.

I was thinking the other day whether I could put transoms on top of my kitchen cabinets to let in more light. Then a thought struck me: of course I can! I don’t need anybody’s permission. That thought takes a lot of getting used to after living in houses/apartments that were not mine for 20+ years.

✅ I plan to install another wall fan in the dining area. No one is going to scold me for drilling holes on the wall. My wall.

✅ Put fairy lights on the trees. My trees.

✅ Plant the yellow bell near the base of my staircase because it’s no longer flowering. No one will tell me “no.”

❓ As my high school classmate told me last week, I could put a hot tub downstairs, which I initially thought of when I was sketching the layout of this house. But I said, nah, it’s hard to keep it clean.

✅ Less anxiety when it comes to parking.

Twin A asked me earlier today if I miss our apartment. I said no. Why, she asked. Because that apartment is always dirty, it’s old, and it has a small bathroom. The parking situation is a nightmare to boot.

Bad memories, too, I wanted to add.

I also told my girls I don’t miss the horrible traffic.

Just look at this exodus below. People had been driving for four hours or more just to escape Metro Manila for the long weekend and the upcoming All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day.

Nope, I’m staying put. No one can drag me to drive along SLEX today or any other day this week.

My children are germ vectors. Twin I, who is recovering from amoebiasis, has brought home cough and colds. Again. And all literature on pediatric care says it’s perfectly normal. I keep telling Twin I to stay away from classmates who are sniffling because there is a 98% chance she will bring home the virus. It will eventually hit her immunocompromised twin, who is currently taking five antibiotics.

I haven’t rested from taking care of sick children. 🤦🏻‍♀️

When I go back to work tomorrow and co-workers will ask me, oh what have you done/where did you go during your break? I will have this pathetic response: to the hospital. I took care of the sick; I have a thermometer on my bedside. Since September I have not slept on my bed alone—the twins take turn in sleeping with me because I had to monitor their fevers or they needed to get out of bed quickly to go to the bathroom. Getting off from their loft beds in the middle of the night when they’re sick is just an accident waiting to happen.

I want to rest!!!

Tomorrow, I face another challenge as my boss breathes down my neck since my freelancer has yet to turn in an article since being hired in July.

I have no chill.

I just wanted to start sketching again but the universe didn’t want me to be creative.

The only relief I had this entire break was when I took antihistamine that knocks me out cold.

We are in a health crisis. I have been battling with our water utility for a year now and their service is still shitty as hell. Aside from having my own water filter system at home to use for washing dishes etc, we order our drinking water from purified water vendors.

Twin I was the first one to go down. Twin A now has amoebiasis and we just had been prescribed a couple of medicines for my immunocompromised patient this evening. My brother’s youngest is also sick with similar symptoms. I went a step further by buying only distilled bottled water, the huge jugs, from Alfamart and sterilized our water bottles at home.

I complained about this to the shareholder company, which is one of the conglomerates I have been covering regularly. After the complaint, the water utility staff went to our home to get samples. I haven’t heard from them yet. 😑

What puzzles me is the household next door isn’t affected. We have the same purified water vendor and same pipe from our water utility. Maybe the lunch in their school cafeteria is to blame? 🤔

I would have to make some noise tomorrow or on Tues. This is disgusting. Why is it my burden to find a vendor that will provide me with safe drinking water when we’re already paying for a service that is supposed give us that?! I will report this to the Dept of Health and the National Water Regulatory Board. I will have to make them regret that they haven’t gotten their shit together after a year. While I don’t have confidence in this government under Marcos Jr, at least what I could do is bring this to the mainstream media as public awareness and to shame utilities.

But then, mainstream media—what is mainstream media now? The big voice of the Fourth Estate has been diminished. This article in Nieman Lab is a testament to the state of journalism now. It has been going on for a decade now, but the bitterness has not been felt so much as it is now.

We’re dying.

I’m tired.