According to my CT scan, I have fatty liver and pancreas. I have one simple renal cyst that didn’t alarm my attending physician but is a wakeup call for me.

I need a lifestyle change.

Since I no longer have a gall bladder, all the fats and oils go straight into my system. I also should stop drinking alcohol even just for social drinking.

I just allowed myself be overwhelmed by stress that I had let my exercise regimen slide into the abyss. Stress helped the accumulation of stomach acids, compounded by my consumption of copious amount of caffeine in the form of tea (hot and cold), and skipping meals.

So I landed in the hospital. Acute gastritis.

My vomiting on Monday last week should have been enough warning for me to take it easy and stay away from caffeine and oily food—and yet I still cooked egg fried rice with tapa 🤦🏻‍♀️

Let it be a lesson for me.

Don’t take my job too seriously. It’s not worth dying for.

I should take care of myself for the sake of my children. Just because I don’t have a partner doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be concerned about how I treat myself.

My stomach still aches maybe due to muscle spasms so I still have to make it more settled. I should keep my soft diet for a week so my system will not be shocked. My proton pump inhibitor is to be taken two weeks to reduce my stomach acids.

This is part of ageing 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m no longer a sprightly 20-year-old who doesn’t need a long recovery period. How I have abused my body in my youth. 😕

So for tomorrow, I have hired my mom’s driver so I can attend that lunch meeting with one of the country’s top conglomerates. I don’t think I can drive yet.

It’s taking so long for them to discharge me because CT scan reading took a while. Radiologist is not here everyday. That’s the thing with hospitals in provinces, you gotta share radiologists because there aren’t enough of them here in the Philippines.

I remember writing an article about radiology and a technology that enables hospitals to transmit images like X-rays, CT scans, etc. to radiologists so they don’t have to be physically present in the hospital to read. That solves the problem of scarcity of healthcare workers, especially in the provinces. I could have been discharged yesterday but…🤷🏻‍♀️

Speaking of shortage of specialists, my older sister told me about her bestfriend’s hesitation about transfering Twin A to another hospital when she was under her care prior to the transfer to PGH. She said when she asked around about the reputation of the pediatric hemato-oncologist of that hospital recommended by Metro Pacific, people said, “OK lang” and not the enthusiastic “she’s good.” That scared her. She said the good ones have already left the country and she knows three who have just left for Singapore. She said at least if we get to PGH or UST she knows we’re in good hands. It’s dangerous to be under a mediocre doctor under the circumstances my daughter was in at that time.

Now back to the radiologist. We knew the radiologist here before, he was my older sister’s high school classmate. But since he is a product of Harvard Med, his services have been more in demand in big Metro Manila hospitals so he had to give up his practice here. The only reason why he goes here is because of his parents who still live here, as well as his in-laws since his wife is my high school classmate who is a dermatologist here. Since then, radiology reading has to be scheduled because they don’t have a radiologist here everyday. Hence the delay in my CT scan result.

I’m much better now, albeit there is still some tenderness in the upper abdomen. I guess this is a result of the massive muscle spasms I had when I was deep in pain the past few days. My gastroenterologist said what he was giving me are already meds for ulcer. If I still have aches and pains, then it might be caused by a stone or two stuck in the bile duct where my gall bladder was attached to before its removal in 2014. He said my initial blood tests showed that there is some yellowness in my blood. So they ran some more tests to check my liver.

He didn’t explain anymore but I guess my bilirubin is high, therefore, it’s not eliminated. My urine is deep yellow, so it could indicate presence of bilirubin.

What he said though that if there is indeed blockage in my bile duct, I would have to undergo ERCP, which is not performed in this hospital. I would have to transfer to Medical City, Asian Hospital or St Luke’s (I think). 🤦🏻‍♀️

I just hope the CT scan shows there is no blockage but it’s just peptic ulcer, which can be cured with meds and involves careful diet for the healing of the gut.

Let’s wait for the CT scan

Finally going home!!!

Nothing in my CT scan, it’s clean. So it was just a very bad acute gastritis. All the build up of stress, fatty/oily food and caffeine landed me here. Plus I’m no longer in my 20s to be able to recover quickly from such ordeal. Whew!

Thank you, Lord.

I vomited at the CT scan.

My condition was so bad that I had to hurl all the contrast liquid I had imbibed earlier. Then I had enema to have contrast liquid in my colon.

So why all this?

I was rushed to the hospital yesterday early evening after hours of twitching in pain on my bed. I wanted to vomit, thinking that vomiting could relieve me of the searing pain slicing through the upper right quadrant of my abdomen that radiated through my back. I tried inducing it but I couldn’t puke. I was in so much pain that I could barely breathe.

At the ER I was already screaming in pain, twitching, and thrashing on the bed. They had to inject a lot of meds in me like proton pump inhibitor, pain killer, and another one that made drowsy. That somewhat quieted me down. Pain was 10/10.

Initial diagnosis was acute gastritis but CT scan is needed to rule out pancreatitis, peptic ulcer, or GERD. My insurance company called me to say, yeah, we can cover that.

The entire night I was moaning and twitching in my bed. They couldn’t relieve my pain because my gastroenterologist said they couldn’t give me more meds and had to wait for a few more hours.

Then at 3 am, I hurled everything I ate the previous day after I was injected with Tramadol.

Pain subsided from 10/10 to 6-7/10. But it was still enough to cause me to scream in pain whenever I moved. I felt like my midsection was rolling and twisting inside me while pain jabbed at the spot.

At 4 am, I vomited again all the acids left in my gut. That relieved me somewhat, which allowed me to sleep for a bit before they prepped me for my CT scan.

After the scan, I felt a little bit ok, enough for me to take a shower and clean off my vomit. I felt human again.

Pain is around 2/10, dull but consistent. I hope it stays that way. I have to wait until tomorrow for the results. I don’t want to stay here another day.

My stairs weren’t that dark anymore after I installed the Christmas lantern and lights. I got home to this view this morning from night out with high school classmates.

I attended the annual fundraiser/homecoming of my high school to catch up with friends. After the main event, we went to our usual after-party party and this time, we’re now the titos and titas who just gather around the coffee table and have tame drinks. We were just talking about how things have changed from our annual nights out ten to 15 years ago that translated to bad hangovers the next day. We now were chatting about how to deal with our adolescent children, sexual education, teen dating, etc. We turned into that kind of parents. 🤦🏻‍♀️ HAHAHAHA! I never would have imagined that we would come to this but here we are. 🤣

I always made sure my children are well fed before I fly off. This was our breakfast yesterday. I had to empty our fridge this week because it is still stuffed with different kinds of bread. I gotta make room for Christmas holiday food.

And this is our breakfast today. Enjoying it with Vitamin D as it is a lovely morning.

I spoke too soon. Damn.

I told myself that I should leave at 10 am so I can park early at the mall. Nope. I had to work even though I’m officially on leave (public holiday). Another problem was I lingered in my bed instead of starting work early. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I checked out of the hotel at 12 noon and had lunch at Max’s across the street. I was surprised at the price increase they had. I mean, they used to be affordable but now a meal costs PHP 500 per person. I guess they also feel the pinch because customers aren’t really crowding that branch.

Since I was stupid for not getting up early to park at Ayala Center at 10 am, I had to suffer the long queue to the parking areas. I had tried every known parking entrance, but no, everything was full. 🫠

I gave up and went straight to Alabang Town Center to try my luck.

Nope. That place is much worse because of the huge-ass cars they have there—they are next to posh Ayala Alabang, hence, the multitude of SUVs. I told my girls that we just have to suffer and buy their exchange gifts locally or online. There’s no way that I would be able to penetrate any of the malls in Metro Manila. It was as if those who didn’t go out of town for the long weekend converged in malls. 🥴

So yes, malls are very much alive in the Philippines, unlike in the US where shopping malls are going bust because the middle class is already being squeezed by the economy. On top of that, the big box stores like Costco and Walmart are also contributing to challenges they face by way of competition. According to the New York Times, Amazon is not to blame entirely for their demise. The e-commerce giant only accounts for 11% of total retail shopping in the US.

Long story short, I ended up going straight home, dejected.

I had a disturbing dream this early morning that caused me to remain very angry when I woke up. The level of anger even after waking up was astounding and I had to tell myself that it never happened, just to calm me down. I didn’t realize that the resentment is still that high but it seems like I need to have this confrontation to be able to let go.

Or I need to dive. I haven’t done any of that this year 😭.

I’m getting ready for my drive to Makati as I have a Christmas cocktails with a global law firm tonight. But before that, I would be checking in at a hotel within the area after lunch and have a rest. Probably a massage?

Here we go, Christmas rush traffic. I arrived at the hotel one hour later than expected. Good thing I was still on time to make it to the call with my manager but I was still in disarray so I’m not really sure I captured whatever I needed to do before the year ends.

I booked Zennya and my therapist was just in time. She appeared a few minutes I wrapped up the call. How I miss Zennya! I mean, I couldn’t get the deep tissue massage that my back had been hankering for anywhere else. Even the shiatsu massages in Singapore weren’t able to loosen the knots on my back. The therapist recommended another session because my back is still stiff and my neck is still frozen. She did her best though.

After 90 mins, I got ready for my cocktail party. Only 15 mins.

The reason I keep booking this hotel is because it’s so walkable to Ayala. Most of my business events are held in this area. Tonight, I crossed the brightly lit Ayala Triangle to get to my venue.

The night was a bit productive as I managed to wrangle meetings for Kr and myself.

To celebrate small wins, I am having another 90 min therapeutic Zennya massage to remove the stiffness on my neck and the remaining knots on my back. 😅