It finally rained yesterday, saving me from the chore of watering my plants that were holding on to dear life.

I would have to start taking out the dead plants from the stairs and leave them barren for a while until we get regular rainshowers. We were warned that May would be worse and the heat index could climb further. 🥵

Yesterday’s agua de Mayo reminded me of the time when we were young, wild, and free. Every school break, we would get burnt playing all day in that vacant patch of land at the end of our esquinita, in that ghetto-esque neighborhood where we grew up, not far from where we are now.

Then when May rolled in, we waited excitedly for the first rain of the month. Agua de Mayo meant we can freely play in the rain with the blessing of my father. He was the one who told us that agua de Mayo is like the holy water as it is a blessing from heaven, hence, can cure ailments and whatnot (*folklore + Catholicism = weird beliefs).

So on the first rain of May, our friends and I would be tearing through the neighborhood, wet and wild. Since it was hot (not as hot as what we’re experiencing now), we would get passes from our parents to muck around under the rain even  after agua de Mayo. It was a magical time–growing up in the 1980s was truly a blessing now that I look back.

I feel nostalgic now. I miss those years when our routine was just to watch Saturday morning cartoons extravaganza on TV. My mom would be coming home from the wet market with farm produce, meat, fish, and some rice cakes like puto or palitaw. We would be buying taho from the ambulant vendor who roved around the neighborhood every morning. Rice cakes + taho = full until lunch.

Then off we go and play with the neighborhood kids until 6 pm. By then we would be washing up and plop in front of the TV and watch the Japanese shows like Shaider or Bioman.

On weekdays during school breaks, we would be knocking on the doors of our playmates at 8 am and God knows what scrapes we would be in for the day. There were times we would be climbing rooftops or trees to pick mangoes or santol. Or jump to other esquinitas to buy halo-halo or ice scramble, a shaved ice dessert with brown sugar simple syrup (arnibal) or other sweet syrup in multitudes of colors…

Life was so simple then. It didn’t matter that money was tight during those times. What mattered then at that time was that we would be able to play with our friends and have one peso in our pockets because that was enough to buy us an ice scramble. It didn’t matter if it was just damned too hot; as long as there was no school work, life was perfect.

Agua de Mayo. Oh, you don’t know how much core memories you have unearthed from me.

I did a media training again today. I enjoyed this training like the one I did last time since I was in my element. I think I did a good job and the trainee (a very high level person) enjoyed it as much. He said at first he thought he won’t need it given his familiarity with us but he ended up admitting that he learned so much.

Because I was driving back and forth Metro Manila yesterday and today, I ended up working until past midnight Monday and Tuesday (yesterday). So yes, it’s almost 2 am and I’m not yet asleep. Too caffeinated but no decent meal. Agggh! This is the reason why I ended up with gastrointestinal problems; decades of inconsistent or unhealthy eating habits have wreaked havoc to my system.

I also tried to catch up with a lot of emails and uploaded two stories at 1 am. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Why am I working so hard when I should be working on my Plan B?

I will do that later today. Or tomorrow. Today is a holiday and ironically, Labor Day. A day of honoring workers but here I am, slaving away for a company that doesn’t deserve my talent and dedication.

Sometimes oftentimes I just want to cat = doing catty things or not doing anything at all, which is a very catty thing.

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A global editor role has opened in another competitor, B. This time the base is in Bangkok. It does not require the applicant to know Thai; the ad says they are making Bangkok as just one of the bases.

It’s very curious indeed.

The company, R, that advertised for the position I applied for a few weeks ago is also decentralizing its editing bases from Singapore and Sydney and has chosen Philippines and NZ as two additional locations…

Now competitor B seems to be doing the same, decentralizing from Singapore, which has become much more expensive for foreigners after MoM increased the threshold for E-pass holders. For my age bracket, the new applicants’ minimum qualifying salary is SGD 11,500. If your salary is just at the threshold, you may not get renewed if your company will not bump it up further. Plus you and the company have the hurdle these requirements.

They’re really discouraging the hiring of foreigners.

It is already a hostile place for foreigners given how expensive it is now to live there.

Media companies no longer have an incentive to keep its editing team in Singapore since our industry has always functioned with remote newsrooms. That’s why my fairy gaymother friend, K, has been promoted again to handle a bigger team even though he’s still stationed in Manila. They have accepted, like the rest of the world, that Singapore is not viable anymore. It’s only my fucking company that still thinks Singapore is Southeast Asia and that I fucking need to be stationed there.

I already gave my ultimatum. If they insist on changing my contract, that’s it. Good luck finding another capable journo to lead the team who is Singaporean or PR.

Stupid.

I had a call with my APAC boss this morning to do a post-mortem analysis of the conference. She knew I was in so much stress and was exhausted last week. She then asked me, why don’t you take a holiday? That was a major event last week and you deserve a break. Our China bureau chief went to Thailand after doing the one panel session last Thursday.

Damn. Why didn’t I think of that. All I can think of was I needed to write all the leads I got because the window is so narrow.

It’s still about my job and being a good reporter. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I traveled all the way to Ortigas today and I wasn’t able to do an ambush interview because prospective interviewee got pissed with one obnoxious reporter. I tried getting close to him to ask my super duper secret question but he pretended to talk to somebody on his phone all the way to the elevator car. I no longer was able to chase him to his next meeting. 😭

Gas + toll. All the stress of having calls with my APAC boss and my manager (in the afternoon) led me to nothing.

I need a holiday.

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After trying to save one client account yesterday, I rewarded myself with another 90 min foot and body massage in Chinatown because the four working days in Singapore really sapped any semblance of life out of me.

I had my first massage when I arrived on Sunday and had another one Thursday night before I left on Friday. All I can say is, I don’t want to have a lady masseuse anymore. My tired muscles and knots are not cooperating with female therapists; they don’t have enough power to subdue my knotted muscles.

I also made sure that I get to eat at hawker centers or kopi tiam because this is the last trip to Singapore for me this year, I think. I better go for the authentic Singapore taste—the hawker food and the ambience.

I’ve almost forgotten that they don’t make spicy food tame here.

By the end of my lunch yesterday, I was profusely sweating and I simply refused to eat the red bird’s eye chilis.

And I swear this is the last time I will buy a bag here…🤦🏻‍♀️ Because I just got myself a dupe Chanel mini handbag.

Since I have a mini bag now for meetings and evening events, I had passed on to my mom one of the Coach mini bags that she has been eyeing in my collection. She was so happy when I gave it to her in its original box this morning. The next time I order again from the US, I will buy her another one, probably a pretty Kate Spade shoulder bag. Maybe during the Fourth of July sale or Black Friday.

I won’t be in Singapore any time soon so my bag and shoe shopping will stop.

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We just watched the musical production of my kids’ school—the main reason why I had to go home early. Last year I missed their graduation ceremony because I was also in Singapore, too, to moderate two panel discussions.

The end.

I told myself that I wouldn’t work as hard as the previous day because my company pays me only 🤏 this much. Bending backwards for a company that doesn’t value you is insane so better know and set your boundaries. If not, you’re going to be abused.

So today I just went around and chatted with colleagues from other units and of course, all we talked about is how management is fucking up. One colleague said she feels better now that it wasn’t just her who was feeling this way.

But how stupid is this situation that you are comforted by that knowledge that it’s just not you who is unhappy? It’s just so wrong! But then our hybrid industry is in trouble right now. Just last week, there was a large number of finance guys being let go of in Hong Kong and China. A principal who just left his firm said his industry is not gonna get any better and what is happening in Hong Kong will slowly creep in Singapore soon. It’s all doom and gloom all around. Not only because the public markets are moribund at best, but all the macro uncertainties continue to hover over us. Some central banks in the region have declared, “screw you, economic growth! I’m gonna hike interest rates because the USD is already beating up my currency.” But higher interest rates are going to throttle an economy like Thailand that has yet to fully recover from the pandemic and the crippling inflation of the past two years. The central bank and the prime minister are at loggerheads because of this.

The China slowdown and the Middle East crisis, with Iran thrown in the mix, are not helping. If Trump wins, Ukraine will be handed over to Putin on a silver platter while we will be having an actual war in West Philippine Sea and Taiwan Strait.

Fun times.

Meanwhile, I would be having a side gig. 😉 Thanks to kababayans who believe in their compatriots. Just chatting over the cocktails tables does wonders, no? This is a start of my Plan B. I have to prepare my white paper once I get home.

On another happy note, one of the sponsors of the conference was handing out smart watches.

My girls are already excited. I also bought them medicated moisturizers for the face to keep pimples from popping up.

I cancelled a meeting in the afternoon because I had to help out a collague from the commercial team because she was trying to save an account. Their contract with us is under review and our jacked up prices are not doing us any favors. So I was there as a secret weapon to demonstrate to clients how we bring content a.k.a. gathering news and how our premium news service is vital to their operations. I gave breadcrumbs along the way by throwing them some leads that I had been working on for the week.

I just hope that did the trick.

I bought a new pair of shoes because my feet hurt as the flats I was wearing were really flat—no arch to support my heel. My plantar fasciitis is getting worse.

I had only four hours of sleep. Then I had to finish an edit that was left hanging yesterday because I was too busy and tired with meetings. I opted to take Grab this morning because I needed to be at the conference an hour before the opening talk and I don’t want to be harassed jumping train stations.

The slide presentation to kick off my intro spiel was wrong so I had to improvise—I got a bit rattled. It was a tricky balancing act keeping within the time limit while drawing out some substantial comments from the speakers but making sure everybody is given airtime. I had to do a lot of quick thinking because I had to adjust by picking which questions to ask while ignoring the rest of what I thought not as important as the main points I want to bring to the table. I had to restate and chop-chop some questions right there and remix.

Problem is my brain is working faster than my mouth.

But at least I achieved the goals I’ve set for myself. I didn’t want to dwell on the flaws of how I handled the session.

I just…want to comfort myself. I wanted to eat chicken rice as self-care.

I just want to get through this moderating thing. It sapped the life out of me.

Then there’s this guy (a source) whom I invited for free to the event. At the end of the day, he had the temerity to “make suggestions for improvement.” What the hell, bro?! I just wanted to get this over and done with and the last thing I want at the end of a tiring day is for someone to bring me down to say I was bad. He could have told me that tomorrow because I had zero bandwidth to deal with that at that hour. You know, after my session I had to do my thing again as a journalist, probing people as I’m asking about so many leads I needed to be verified. I networked to death. IT IS FREAKING TIRING! Then this!

I know I’m overly sensitive right now because of raging hormones and exhaustion.

I had a long hot soak in the tub to relieve my aching legs because I was on my feet all day. Talking nonstop to people. Networking is a bitch when you’re tired and hormonal.