Yup, just as I predicted, the rest of the week was going to be marked with rainy afternoons and evenings. My sis-in-law lamented that we haven’t gone to the beach but the southwest monsoon is already upon us. 😔

I was supposed to clean out my yard by bringing my recyclables and old appliances to the junk shop but the rain kept me from doing anything of that sort. So I just brought Twin I’s PC tower to the repair shop because the power was erratic.

I thought it was a faulty power supply because not enough power was coursing through the motherboard. The technican said the motherboard may be cooked.

When he pulled out the mobo, he was flabbergasted to see how dirty it was. After some thorough cleaning, the mobo finally booted. 😮‍💨

I already cleaned the innards of that pc tower and I even opened the power supply to brush and vacuum clean it before bringing it to the shop. But I didn’t have the courage to pull out the mobo because I was scared I won’t able to put it back.

Simple cleaning = PHP 1,750 🤦🏻‍♀️

When I got home, I immediately cleaned Twin A’s pc. I don’t want to be paying so much for something I can do. I figured out a way how to clean the mobo and cooling fan without pulling these out.

Another errand that I needed to do today was to have my girls’ bikes overhauled. Our bikes had been sitting in my mom’s garage for two years since we moved here and I didn’t have the time to attend to these.

Now, I had to do it because 1) Twin I was wearing me down with her constant “Mommy, when are you going to have our bikes fixed?”; and 2) so that my girls would have something do aside from having their noses shoved against their screens while I’m away in Malaysia next week.

For two hours, they worked on the bikes—changed so many parts (including new wheels), indexed the gears, tuned them up, and cleaned all parts. I also bought new accessories like bells, headlamps and tail lights because the old ones are already shite.

I’ll have mine fixed after I get back from Malaysia. 😉

I wrote two stories yesterday from this conference and I’m working on more related articles. But for today I decided to take a break and just stay at home and chat with my sources and reach out to more sources in Malaysia.

So here I am, loafing around the house, constantly on my phone, messaging people like crazy. Tomorrow, I drive back early again to catch up on some sessions, because you know, I will learn a new thing or two.

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Fuck work.

I logged off at 6 pm, put on my running/walking gear and just walked for several km. I need to detach myself from work, thoughts of my boss, thoughts of reporters who go incommunicado. I’m tired of chasing people who do not appreciate all the grace I’ve given them. I’m not a doormat.

It has been a while since I had exercised. I realized that I’m no longer that sprite that I was 10 years ago. I needed a week of rest at home after an overseas trip to recharge my social battery. I know I have gained a lot of weight as a result but I just couldn’t push myself too much after stressing all day at work.

Detach. Detach. Detach.

I really need to physically detach myself from work. Physically leave my desk, my room, my house. Perhaps I should start working in that co-working place inside the uni campus.

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I was so battered by my manager last Friday. I was so distraught that I had a fleeting thought of wanting to fling myself out the window. I wanted to just channel this trapped feeling into something else, like physical pain.

It alarmed me that I was already having that kind of thought so I sought a friend to talk this out. I think I need to go on leave after my KL trip. I should have medical exams. Not sure if this part of perimenopause.

I thought I would be able to handle my feelings towards my manager after I told her when we were in HK that she is stressing me out and I had wanted to quit this job because of that. Nope. I still cannot handle it.

I cannot walk away that easily from this job. Not in this economy. Not when the private school that my kids attend just sent me the list of school fees that just went up. Not when our business hasn’t taken off yet.

I just have to learn to manage this. I just have to learn how to ignore my manager. I just need to go to the sea after every rough encounter with her.

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The dry and hot season is over. The southwest monsoon is upon us again in two weeks.

The gamu-gamo or flying termites are out and about, which means there would be a thunderstorm tomorrow or the following days. Flying termites flocking to light sources signal the end of summer and we would be drenched again by the southwest monsoon and typhoons. When I was a student, I always felt sad about seeing the gamu-gamo because it meant that my summer break was over and I haven’t enjoyed it to full hilt.

I somehow got the same feeling now. There’s this inexplicable feeling deep down in my gut, a kind of sadness because time is moving so fast. I have yet to go diving again. I haven’t been to the beach. I haven’t taken a break. It’s melancholy that is hitting me hard right now. The things I had promised myself I would be doing with the girls now that we have moved back to the province haven’t happened.

I should step back from work.

I should go out and take photos, just like I used to before. I’ve had three overseas trips this year and it’s only June and yet I haven’t sketched nor taken artsy photos. I haven’t enjoyed any moment of those trips. It’s all about work, work, work.

No wonder I’m always tired.

I decided to take a hiatus because two weeks ago my blog stats went crazy. I don’t know why it went viral in a particular country in Europe and it freaked me out. I hope the craziness has died down.

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My kids are still not home because they’re extending their stay at their dad’s hometown. Dad delayed their departure. 🙄

So here I am, spending quiet mornings, midday, and evenings. It is unnerving though. I only have cats to talk to if I’m not talking to avatars of my colleagues online.

I had a change of pace today as I attended an annual general meeting and chased people again. I also had coffee with a friend, who asked for career advice…as if I know anything about careers. 😏

It was quite a productive day for me.

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During lunch, fellow journos (senior journos) are sad that another institution is crumbling. Philippine Daily Inquirer, the broadsheet, is closing down.

Mass media is in a flux. Algorithms now rule and your ability to make money out of your content is now out of whack. Without steady subscription, you can’t survive. You have to have a way to make your viewers/readers stick.

When I was still with my old TV network, I learned that the way media outlets not behind a paywall get the eyeballs (ergo advertising money) is to have 1) speed, 2) click-bait headlines, 3) exclusivity.

Nowadays, those things no longer matter. Algorithm is the king. You are now a slave to the algorithm.

He came from out of nowhere. He showed Rolling Stones magazine how he should have been in their list of 100 greatest guitar players of all time and he didn’t take the snub kindly. Shredded like there’s no tomorrow. Threw his guitar and left.

That is Prince.

Prince’s performance here is still regarded as one of the best guitar solos and/or tributes to an artist. It’s up there with the Heart’s tribute to Led Zeppelin with their performance of Stairway to Heaven with Jason Bonham.

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