I’m so pissed right now. Yesterday, I just told some colleagues that I’ll just  go quiet quitting and not give a flying fuck about being scooped by rivals.

You see, the boss from bubble gum pop land blocked my travel to Singapore for next month to attend a huge conference and meet sources. And because I quit being a manager, I do not have the right footing to defend my stand.

So yeah, fuck you, everybody. I don’t care anymore.

I’m just gonna find myself a coffee shop/tea shop, bring a book, and read the day away.

I can’t wait to start my long leave of absence next week.

WTF!

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Amihan (northeast monsoon) season is here. The habagat rains are now replaced by the cooler trade winds and it was evident when I fell asleep two nights ago with just the electric fan to cool my room instead of the aircon.

I woke up at 5 am (my body automatically does that 😑) and it looked like it was a fine morning. I tried going back to sleep so I can have energy to walk to the community market to have my liquid hand soap bottles refilled. I had a one-hour nap and off I went.

I did the usual thing: buy breakfast, lunch, and dinner for me and my girls. Liquid handsoap and scents for my room. I’m addicted to making my room smell good; it relaxes me and calms my frayed nerves at the end of every workday.

It was a good exercise and it was nice to see my academic community enjoying a slow morning like this. I am thankful that I’m very privileged to live this provincial life without sacrificing my livelihood.

My kids are better off than their elementary friends who have to endure terrible commutes, especially N, who is going to transfer to UST high school because her mom was dissatisfied with Diliman Prep. I can just imagine the two-hr commute from their house in Sikatuna Bliss to España in Manila, with all the traffic and flood. 🫠

I keep repeating over and over in my head that I made the right choice by moving back here in my hometown. Better for my kids and my sanity.

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From Monday until last night, I was editing other journos’ stories and writing my own. Half of Asia was asleep because of the mid-Autumn festival, which coincides with mainland China’s Golden Week. That meant the only ones available to edit are my manager in Australia, me, and later my colleague in Japan. Sometimes our freelance editor/journo in SG chips in.

I  had to write as much as possible because I will be taking a long break on the 23rd and be back to work on 3 Nov. I need to at least try to meet my quota by 22 Oct.

It’s freaky that the faults all over the Philippines have started moving again, except for the ones in Metro Manila. Phivolcs says we are due for The Big One.

My mom, who used to teach NatSci 1, said it is fair to say that every place in the Philippines is tectonically and volcanologically active — except for Palawan because geologically that island belongs to a different plate. Palawan is its own microcontinental block that used to be attached to the Eurasian plate so it is not as geologically active as the rest of the Philippines. There are no volcanoes and earthquakes there but it is vulnerable to tsunamis if the Manila Trench decides to spew some anger.

Basically, the Philippines is squeezed by two plates—the Philippine Sea Plate and the Eurasian plate. That’s why we have these two trenches.

Anyway, Metro Manila is very vulnerable and the freaky thing is Marikina Valley Fault System (and the East Valley Fault) hasn’t had any significant activity in the last 400 years and that thing moves every 400 to 600 years.

Marikina Valley was formed because of the Marikina valley fault system. It basically slipped down and created a “valley”. A decade ago I was able to interview Dr. Solidum, the DOST secretary and former Phivolcs head, for a story. He said you can see the evidence of the fault in sections of Pasig like Canley Rd, St Paul’s Rd, and Capt. Henry Javier Rd that’s why it feels like you’re driving through a canyon when you pass though these roads. You could see the walls of rock on either your left or right. And the scary thing is a lot of condos were built just along this fault line! Some buildings were even built on top of fault lines. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Marikina Valley Fault cuts across Taguig and Makati, and BGC (which straddles both Taguig and Makati) sleeps next to it.

Oh heck, there’s another one just this afternoon.

Better prepare our Go bags and our tent and sleeping bags.

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Ain’t it the truth!

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My household and my mom’s checked in at I’m Hotel because we wanted her to have a shopping-and-spa day for her birthday weekend.

We went shopping first at SM Makati for her gold accessories and a long dress that she will wear for a gala night of one of her organizations. Bought some Christmas decor, just because.

Then we pigged out on some Cantonese food and went straight to the onsen and massage, which my mom enjoyed. We had an early night because the spa experience was good. Well, it was for me because I had a hard massage that helped me with my frozen shoulder.

Mom was so happy with the shopping that she wanted to go back to SM to buy more stuff today.

Parking, however, is gonna be an issue because it’s a weekend plus it’s a Christmas season weekend. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Tell me, why is that my ex-manager, YKK, and people from her country are insufferable? Ah yes, there are too many Tiktok videos about that. They call us jungle Asians. They look down on us.

She killed two of my stories that I nearly died for from the conference last week.

Imagine, YKK couldn’t understand what is in-house financing and why it charges interest up to 45% while bank loans are at low single digits?! Loans are loans, she said. But but but…Don’t they have in-house financing in their country? 🤦🏻‍♀️ I complained to my colleague and he found on the internet that yes they do have in-house financing in their country. So why doesn’t she know what in-house financing is and the reason why it carries more risks for the lender? That’s the whole point of the story!!! She doesn’t get it.

Then in the third story, which was written by my ditzy colleague, YKK accused me of pulling back what my source said. I pointed out to her that my source did  not even confirm one vital info, my colleagues’ sources could not confirm, and yet this is the angle that this story is pursuing? This is the reason why I said we should shelve this because it is standing on stilts.

Why is it even my fault that the story is such a mess? It’s not even my story. 

Then I asked my colleague, why is that when I have encounters with YKK, I feel like I’m stupid, worthless, and I don’t deserve to be here? My colleague said, she doesn’t like you.

Well, I have already established that. That’s the main reason why I quit being a manager of my team—she doesn’t like me and she crushed me everyday. The week before I flew to Kuala Lumpur, I wanted to jump off my balcony because I felt so trapped.

I don’t like her either. She makes me feel inferior and thinks I don’t have the brains for this job.

It’s a constant battle with her all the time.

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Last Sunday we went out to have lunch in a restaurant several towns away from us to celebrate my nephew’s birthday.

I had too much sugar! I felt so sleepy after that I had a two-hour “nap” before going to church. That’s how sugar affects me these days.

Speaking of sugar, my endocrinologist said my HBA1C is fine, it even went down by 0.1 pt. He said our goal is to keep it within pre-diabetic level or even reverse it. But it’s not going to happen in three months so I don’t have to worry.

What worried me were my palpitations and I asked if those are the side effect of Dapagliflozin. He said no, and checked if I drink too much coffee. I said no, I’m not a coffee drinker because it keeps me awake all night. He then ordered me to have a 24-hr Holter monitor to check if and why I have arrhythmia.

I also asked should I be worried that my WBC is constantly high? He said I don’t have infections and other signs that could point to reasons why, so if I’m worried about lymphoma or other blood cancers (because an uncle is in palliative care for it now), I should check with a hematologist and get an endorsement from my gynecologist.

Good thing that my younger sister’s best friend (the one who connected us to PGH for Twin A’s medical problems two years ago) is a hematologist. She told me yes my WBC has been elevated for a year now but it’s not that high enough to point to lymphoma.

So it must be stress. As I wrote above, the editor from the land of bubblegum pop, is causing me so much distress.

I know I’m being a hypochondriac now but my grandfather and aunt died of cancers that are curable because they didn’t catch it early. It was too late by the time these were detected. I don’t want to subject my children to so much grief and strife just because I was negligent.

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We’re going to pack clothes for donation to the victims of the Cebu earthquake. My kids have been culling clothes that don’t fit or they no longer want to wear and preparing for future donation opportunities because we know we have yearly disasters.

I always teach my children empathy and charity towards all living things.

I was chatting with my Cebu-based friend and asked how he and his family are faring. Good thing they’re ok but he said the northern part of Cebu island is struggling because they’re still having strong aftershocks. I told him it’s like deja vu, because I was talking to him in 2013 and asked him to be my eyes on the ground when I was still with my old TV network. I couldn’t fly ro Cebu and Bohol then because we used our local correspondents for that.

Some colleagues from foreign news agencies are now deployed to Bogo, Cebu. I’ve traveled and stayed in northen Cebu twice some years back so more or less I know how the terrain looks like.

My reporter’s itch is nagging me but I know I’m past that. I may no longer able to sleep in tents to cover disasters.

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