16 years covering the business beat. 15 years attending this event at the central bank and chasing all these CEOs, bankers, company owners, conglomerate owners…
Driving to the central bank this afternoon.
I could feel age catching up with me. I could no longer chase them as I used to. I used to target everybody but this time I only talked to the familar and dear ones.
Every year I also receive collectors’ items from the central bank. Only a few of us are given these. Back in 2006, I had one entire mat of uncut 20-peso bill signed by former central bank governors. Sadly, one of them passed only a few months or a year after he signed it.
Photo by CallMeCreation.comPhoto by CallMeCreation.comSee-through bill. Can’t remember if it was the SGD 100 bill was similar to this. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They also gave us some prints from the BSP art collection. I can have these framed for my tiny house.
An Arturo Luz print. Photo by CallMeCreation.comA Juan Senson print. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m tired. I gave four reporters a ride home tonight and dropped them at their doorsteps in different parts of QC.
Morning light streaming through my windows at 7 am. Let’s pretend things are OK. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I know it’s so fake but in order for life to be tolerable, especially during this time that we’re facing a global financial crisis with an incompetent and corrupt president, it’s better to pretend that everything is pretty. Romanticizing life, just like what those content creators do on Youtube and Instagram. Because what can you do? These things are beyond my control and stressing over them is a health hazard. What I can control is how I react to them and my actions on how to ease the burden—-or anticipate the bad things that will happen so I can protect myself and my kids.
Rose tea. Zen mode before tackling work in the morning. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I have a very strong internal locus of control so I get stressed over a lot of things, thinking I could change so many of them. I should loosen up and practice having some external locus of control; recognize the things I have little control over–kinda like make lemonade when life throws lemons at you.
So I will just trick my brain into making it believe that things are hunky dory in my neck of the woods, that my mornings are pretty and that troubles don’t go my way. Like I will just make my life beautiful and pursue all things bright and beautiful.
But in a way, it helps to make me less angry with the world. God knows that there are so many things to be angry about. There had been so much sadness and bitterness in my life the past two years and I no longer want to live like that. I no longer want to think about the actions of other people towards me and all the wrongs done to me. I will just let the universe do its thing.
I craved something spicy tonight so I made some vegetable ramyun with shitaake mushrooms, Chinese cabbage, and egg. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Meanwhile, I realized that for 33 years I had been busy documenting my life, since Grade 5 until tonight. Writing my schedule, budgets, and to-do lists help me organize my life. But I do not understand why I am very diligent in recording things when I should be throwing away my planners and diaries from years past. However, as a journalist, I find archives like that helpful especially when I need to write my testimonial for my annulment case.
But then, why do I keep holding on to my diaries, these notebooks just take up space? No one would really be interested in reading them, not even my children. I’m not going to be famous that people from the future would be digging through my archives to write my biography.
I just thought about it today because I am mulling whether I go to Ikea to buy bins to store my diaries or just put them in a bookshelf. And my brain just rolled into questions upon questions why I’m doing this.
*I also want to check out some light fixtures or modern chandeliers.
Why Philippines? Why areyou just accepting this? Why are you condoning the Marcoses’ and the Dutertes’ excesses and you let yourself suffer like this? Why??? My heart bleeds. I think I will die heartbroken because you let yourself be enslaved by your stupidity.
It’s really exhausting if I absorb everything that I see and read. I know it’s such a privilege to turn my head away and pretend these things don’t happen. But sometimes doing so is necessary for my mental health, especially today when I read that a former Supreme Court justice who is now the new Executive Secretary defending Marcos’ wastage of public funds (bringing along bloggers and other hangers on) to watch F1 in Singapore. I want to remind Mr. Bersamin that there is a law that prohibits government officials from using public funds or whatever from doing such thing/s. Singapore has been holding F1 for so many years but no sitting Philippine president has accepted the invitation of the Singapore government because 1) they know the law; 2) it is blasphemy to waste public funds (or even private money because the public perception is bad) on such frivolous things when the country has just emerged from a natural calamity and the citizens could barely eat , with the latest inflation rate is at 6.9%.
Oh yes, we’re back to Marcos-era macroeconomic situation = stagnant growth, high inflation (called stagflation), weak currency, and FDIs are disappearing.
I’m angry but I’m tired of being angry. Maybe living in my hometown will help me tame my anger. Maybe the trees and absence of air pollution will calm my very busy mind. Maybe regular cycling around my hometown and nearby towns would help ease the tension I often harbor because I get affected by macro and micro news, about things that I have no control over. More frequent visits to the sea to dive or Lake Caliraya to camp will remind me of the little things that make living here worthwhile.
I no longer know how to use my platform, my pen (keyboard) to help change the situation. They’re killing journalists like me and they will continue doing that. They have already killed ABS-CBN. Now they’re silencing individual media workers.
I don’t know how long I can take this with my sanity intact.
Let me just do my indoor exercises first so I can ruminate. Maybe my pent-up fury can be expended by dumb bell lifts.
I still have a long way to go. Long, long way to go.
Just like during Marcos Sr’s martial law. This has a chilling effect on us in the industry–except of course this doesn’t affect media workers who are Marcos supporters. 🤬 Asshats!
My mom always reminds me to be careful and keep safe. She lived through the killings of the first Marcos era. Now I’m living it now.
I no longer know what’s or who’s next. 😔
We’re so fucked.
While we were in the boat going to the spot where I can dive last Sunday, Twin A accidentally dipped her sling bag that contains her mobile phone into the water. She wanted to take pictures, she said. It got wet and she kept on turning the phone on and off. Expect that some short circuiting will ensue.
They would be going to Cebu by the end of the month so I need them to be accessible via phone ALL THE TIME because I do not trust their dad. I had to have that phone fixed.
I went to Greenhills yesterday to have the LCD replaced.
Painful to watch. Photo by CallMeCreation.comThis is how a wet LCD panel looks like. It still has some salt deposits on it. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It hurt my wallet. PHP 2,000, including a screen protector.
I will have that kid hung upside down to teach her a lesson.
We stayed behind this morning at the resort so the girls can attend school online while I can have my weekly call with my team and edit some stories. We left at around 12 noon and I decided to have lunch at Twin Lakes Tagaytay because I was hungry.
Taal Volcano. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Lunch at Mary Grace. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It was windy and the temperature was much lower there. We stayed there for an hour I guess…
And Waze told me to take the Talisay-Tanauan road so it seemed like I took a Taal Loop road trip. The views from Talisay are as pretty, if not prettier than in Tagaytay. The volcano island is much closer to Talisay so you can see how desolate that place is.
From Tanauan, I drove through Sto. Tomas and then Bay, Laguna. We took the MakBan Geothermal route.
Steam from the Mak-Ban Geothermal Power Plant.
Those pipes transport the steam and it runs for several kilometers.
We arrived at my home town after 4 hrs (4:20 pm) because we stopped in Tagaytay for an hour or so. I signed another check to my contractor and looked at the construction progress.
Large windows. Photo by CallMeCreation.com More large windows. Photo by CallMeCreation.comI was told I will have a giant door. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
So far so good. ❤️ I think my father would have been proud of me.
But I think he would have meddled with the construction, just like when he messed around with his brother’s (who is an architect) design. 🤣 Our house turned out differently… And my uncle told me when he first stepped into our house after we moved in, he scratched his head and said, ummm this is not how I drew it. 😱 Since he was 8 years younger than my father, he just didn’t raise an issue and kept his mouth shut forever.
So after my father died and my mom decided to renovate the house to change the layout, my uncle redrew the plans and he put everything to its original position 🤣
After I finished editing the last article for the day, the girls and I went out to have dinner with my sister-in-law and nephew.
With Kuya P. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We left at 9:30 pm and it took me only 1.5 hrs. to reach the apartment via Skyway 3.
Basicall, I’ve been driving for most of the day. 😑
After several months, I finally had a chance to freedive again. Even though there was nothing to see except for some dead corals and some fish, I was glad I was able to practice again and my lungs had a good workout. My long fins really made a huge difference because they allow me to dive deeper with less effort.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It was difficult though because we had with us my indescribable nephew. So after an hour we had to leave.
The rest of the morning was spent in the pool.
Twin A. Photo by CallMeCreation.comTwin I. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
To satisy Twin I’s deep desire to get thrown in the middle of the sea, we hired a banana boat driven by a jetski. It was fun but it was difficult to lift myself out of the water because my legs kept slipping off the banana boat; I blame the sunscreen.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We were rewarded again with a beautiful sunset to cap our weekend here.
Next time, it will just be the three of us when I’m freer to book Layag Resort in Anilao. It’s difficult to enjoy the weekend if a kid keeps on throwing tantrums.
