The extreme mind-bending I did the past two days rendered me useless today. I just turned into a vegetable and had a brain rot, just watching videos on my tablet or phone all day. I just wanted to be brainless.

I couldn’t tell you how much I’m carrying on my shoulders right now. I was losing my patience—and I have lots of it—with a reporter that I’m trying to save. I highly suspect that the reporter has an undiagnosed ADHD and I told our boss several times. A long-time friend with whom I had a falling out was recently diagnosed with ADHD and she told me via FB Messenger. I haven’t responded to that chat yet because I was still hurting from her treatment of me—she was callous and dismissive of me or whatever I said. She just didn’t have anything else besides herself and whatever other people say don’t register. She attributed it all to her ADHD.

Anyway, this reporter is in hot water right now because it takes too much the of editors’ energy to keep them out of trouble (forgetting compliance SOPs and being careful with details). This person already got our company into trouble last year, which caused my burnout and my desire to quit. Our regional head already lost patience last Wednesday and said this is not sustainable. So on Thursday I wrote a story that this reporter should have led but insteae I took into my hands the responsibility for this because I cannot risk mistakes. I worked until late Thursday night just to keep things in order and publish.

Yesterday I edited this reporter’s story, which took the entire afternoon until evening. I had to treat this person like a child and ask questions like I would a child like point 1, 2, 3, 4. I had to do it several times (“No no no, you are not answering my question! It only requires a yes or no. Did they or still not have a partner, yes or no?”) until I get satisfactory answers.

It was is exhausting.

Add to that the stubborness of other reporters who do not follow the strict standards we impose when we publish stories. I was editing until 9 pm last night.

I am just emotionally drained as well.