Love, thy will be done

This is a beautiful prayer, which came from a notebook of Martika’s writings. Prince re-worked the words, which reflected his spirituality. He always believed that he was very blessed and this song encapsulates his feelings about God in a form of a prayer.

I first heard (or rather paid attention to) this song in elementary when I was over at a friend’s house and being tutored by my friend’s brother who was a math major. I had since associated this song with Terminator 2 because this tune was wafting in the background while my friend’s TV screen was playing the Terminator 2 trailer. Or perhaps it was the entire movie on VHS? 🤔 It can’t be because in those days it takes a while before a movie goes into VHS…

Anyway, this song stuck with me since then. I always thought this was beautiful and the artists (Martika and Prince) didn’t mask it; it was a praise song without being labeled as such. It went to become a Billboard chart topper in 1991, proving that a pop spiritual song can be enjoyed by everyone, not just by the religious.

I don’t know how this song popped into my consciousness this morning while I was driving Twin A to school for her volleyball training.

Dropping off Twin A at school. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Maybe because it was a lovely morning, with sunlight being filtered through trees that lined up the road leading to my children’s school. This has pushed my brain dig up the words in Love The Will Be Done. Maybe my soul wanted to give thanks for this beautiful morning and everything I have.

Love, thy will be done
Since I have found you my life has just begun
And I see all of your creations as one
Perfect complex
No one less beautiful
Or more special than the next
We are all blessed and so wise to accept

Love thy will be done

When I dropped off my kids at the park yesterday because they were bored. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And it just struck me that, yeah, I feel complete. There is no longer a gaping hole that I needed to fill. I don’t need to chase love to fill that void. I don’t have to run.

Love, thy will be mine
And make me strive for the glorious and divine
I could not be more, more satisfied
(Satisfied)
Even when there’s no peace outside my window
There’s peace inside
And that’s why I no longer run
(I don’t know)
Love, thy will be done

And tears started running down my cheeks with this realization. It was so overwhelming that I started singing. Yes, I’m at peace. This is the reason why I haven’t searched for another partner or do anything that would lead me in that direction. It isn’t bitterness that led me to celibacy. It is not fear. It is not rejection of love but rather it is because of love. Love for myself, for everything that God wants for me.

And this connects with what I also told fairy gaymother K at almost 1 am today. I sent him this this song by Cynthia Alexander and said, this is me these days. This song sums me up.

I walk down the road
I look up at the sky
Now I know why
Reasoning has conquered me
I can’t and won’t deny the fact
My heart beats a special drum
Only for you
But I’m glad to be on my own
I have never been this free
From all suspicion and the pain
Grown year upon year

I had to go through hell and back to achieve peace.

Walking in the rain then seemed beyond conception
But I’ve never been so alive
So much in love with life
And from the grey, grey sky
Fell the tear of all tears

Anger and hatred would only go away once the void is filled with love. Not romantic love from another person—that’s conditional and fallible—but rather it’s love for life itself. You know that I could’ve retaliated and hurt back those who hurt me. To seek chaos and damage to those who sent me to hell. But you know what? I didn’t. I walked away from it all and decided that the best revenge is to live life the best I could and be truly happy.

And the tears that rolled down my cheeks this morning were tears of happiness. Singing Love Thy Will Be Done is my thanksgiving.

Love, thy will be done
Thy will love be done
Love, thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run
(No, no, no)
Love, thy will be done
Thy will love be done
Thy will love be done
Thy will love be done