Anesthesia resistance goes hand in hand with pain reliever resistance, I guess. When I had my gall bladder taken out in 2014, I remember waking up in the middle of surgery and asking why was I still alive—I meant to say “awake” but confused it with “alive”. It seemed like people panicked and my anesthesiologist told me that, of course, I’m supposed to be alive. Then after surgery, I was told by my anesthesiologist that they couldn’t knock me out. She said I kept on talking and telling stories but for the life of me I couldn’t remember any of it.

When I got back to my room and woke up, the anesthesia wore off and I experienced unbearable pain. I guess it was more painful than my caesarian surgery because they only had to open me up and get the babies, who were just lying on top of my messed up organs. But getting my gall bladder out involved digging through a lot of fat and muscles so the stitches had to go down deep.

They had to increase my morphine dosage because the previous dose wasn’t working. I was in agony.

The same is happening now but to a lesser degree. My head fucking hurts. I was able to see the bruising through the plaster and watchamacallit that keeps the wound from getting wet after I washed my hair and bathed my body. I decided to keep the band around my forehead because I don’t want the hematoma to go down further and it keeps my forehead from moving when my face is showing expressions.

Moving my eyebrows is painful enough. Damn.

On the flipside, just as my doctor warned, my hairline above my stitches is numb because there was some damage to the facial nerves when the lipoma was excised. It will take three months before my hairline would feel normal again. It feels weird not to feel anything at all along my scalp. So the numbness is above my wound but my wound and everything below it hurts so much. Even wincing hurts. Moving my facial muscles hurt. My right face hurts. The oral pain reliever is not working. Well, normal morphine dose didn’t work for me 10 years ago. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gaaaahhhhh!

To keep my mind off the pain, I was entertained by my fluffies.

As Twin I said, Kimchi is God’s laziest soldier.