Mother’s Day Special yesterday was buy 2, take 1 free on a small Chowking halo-halo. Of course we had to have them after attending church. I haven’t had any halo-halo this hot and dry season.

We went school supplies shopping after that and I saw this:

This is how you confuse your audience in one cover: Mix French, Portuguese, and Catalan. Yes, Catalan, not even Spanish 🤦🏻‍♀️

But I still bought it because I’m really bad at keeping to-do things when not written on paper. I’m so analogue that way.

I tried resurrecting my Filofax diary but I couldn’t keep up with the system anymore so I opted now for the pre-made diary instead of the DIY route that I have tried sticking to for a couple of years. I find that I always accomplish more when I write it down and see my to-do list every morning before I begin my day. With so many things I juggle, I need to get back on it. My brain can cope this way.

I’ve read on LinkedIn a comic strip about passion vs practicality. It told the story of an artist who pursued passion and went to college to pursue arts by finishing her BA in Interactive Media. Opportunities, however, are limited in Singapore in that niche field so she had to shift gears and took a job at the Immigration Checkpoint Authority (ICA) to be able to have a job. The author said it gave her stability and purpose and didn’t think that her college degree went to waste because she might pick art up again in the future. For now her career at ICA is what that is needed in her life right now.

This got me thinking again because I was having an internal debate regarding staying in a crappy company/with a crappy boss that is/are stressing me out so much just because I get to practice my profession, which has been my passion. About 70%-80% of my local contemporaries have already moved on to other industries while I stayed because I was lucky to have found a job that paid decently.

However, it seems like this has already run its course and I need to move on. There are limited opportunities for me at my age and position in this industry. I must accept the fact that passion is no longer practical at this stage in life. I have to start over in another adjacent industry. I should count myself very blessed that I was able to practice my profession, which has been a vocation, for almost 20 years when many of my classmates weren’t even given a chance. One asst. professor in my undergrad college told my mom that he envied me because I was able to go into journalism—the real deal—and make a career out of it for decades.

You have to make do with the cards you were dealt with. Now it seems like no matter how I try shuffling and rearranging my cards, I’ve run out of options and would have to declare defeat.

A little voice inside me says, “but they need you.” I got a Viber message yesterday about another media training that I could help them with today. I had to say no because I have back-to-back meetings today. “You know how Mondays are,” I said.

Yes, the industry needs me but is it enough? Is it still ticking all the boxes? A friend who has moved on to a startup media company said, I want to hire you. I told him, no, you know how I feel about your CEO/founder.

“But you don’t have to deal with him,” he said.

“Haha you and I know that is a lie. I know how online news media are run,” I said.

God, it’s already mid-year and my company has yet to give us our bonuses/salary increase. 😩