More than a decade ago, I was writing a novel and this song was playing in my head, like the main protagonist was singing this and this served as one of the themes in the entire novel. I had destroyed and forgotten that novel but this song stayed. Another song that kept playing in my head alongside this one was “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles, but that’s for another entry.

I think about this song and I remember how I thought I found the person who saved me from an eternal lonelines—but I was so completely wrong. I didn’t get past the part of the lyrics where Gotye sang, “And I could not love/’Cause I could not love myself/Never good enough, no…”

That was the culprit. That lack of love for myself that always got me into a hot mess. Every time.

So now every time I listen to this song when I drive my car, I think, is there somebody out there who would sing the last stanza of this song for me?

Or maybe I’m supposed to sing Adele, “Next time, I’ll be braver/I’ll be my own savior standing on my own two feet…”

Save Me

In the mornings
I was anxious
It was better just to stay in bed
Didn’t want to fail myself again
Running through all the options
And the endings
Were rolling out in front of me
But I couldn’t choose a thread to begin

And I could not love
‘Cause I could not love myself
Never good enough, no
That was all I’d tell myself
And I was not well
But I could not help myself
I was giving up on living

In the morning
You were leaving
Traveling south again
And you said you were not unprepared
And all the dead ends
And disappointments
Were fading from your memory
Ready for that lonely life to end

And you gave me love
When I could not love myself
And you made me turn
From the way I saw myself
And you’re patient, love
And you help me help myself
And you save me,
You save me,
You save me