This past week was so rough on me that I just wanted to give up. My manager was pounding me to the ground so hard that I cracked. Our Manila reporter told me to just say yes, yes, yes, and let my my manager win because there is no other choice.

I cracked so much that I sent an SOS to my bff and she went straight to my house to talk to me. We evaluated my options. Seems like going back to academe is a no go for me. I don’t want to go through the rigors of PhD, not after my miserable experience in grad school while being a reporter. That was so rough. Plus the pay is—😭

I was chatting the other day with our former APAC head who recruited me 10 years ago. She told me if I go to PR, I will cross red lines. Now the question is, how much red line crossing will I allow? There will come a time I would need to lie. Bad service and tarnished branding are defensible, but lying is something else and it is part of PR. That’s the reason why she left her last job. The client wanted her agency to lie and she couldn’t take it.

My other bff said, lying and other dark stuff in PR is opposite of everything I stand for in my profession: truth, honesty, justice, and fairness. She said it will mess me up if I take up PR.

All day long I couldn’t stop thinking about the choices I have to make. The only logical thing is to stick around until something comes up. I cleaned my fridge, I cleaned anything that I could clean but I couldn’t make my mind rest.

I needed to get out of the house.

I told my girls we would buy sourdough bread to eat in the park.

Early dinner for us. I’m not in the mood to cook. I just want to wash away the bad taste left by the horrible week I had.