I worked late into the night yesterday, digging through stats upon stats to prove my point. I crafted an action plan to save our asses. While other bureaus also have issues, the most affected is my own bureau because 1) they don’t understand the region; 2) they don’t care to understand the region; 3) the overlords in the west think what works for them would work globally. Fucking hell no.

I worked on the stats, all the metrics, and analysis this morning but our APAC boss could not understand why Southeast Asia is like that. I had to explain clearly why. Good thing I always talk to our readers and a host of other people who are wheelers and dealers in our midst so I have a good grasp of what’s going on.

At the same time, I was chasing two stories, blasting emails and four of my messaging apps were open so I can ask around. I have yet to draft those stories. On top of that, I had to edit stories from different parts of Asia.

And I got blasted again by my manager for directly emailing our public speaking trainor, asking her if there are available trainings because I will be hosting our event once again in April. My manager said, next time she has to be cc’d in all communication I would be doing. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I said I just responded to our trainor’s email sent in September, when she told me to email her back when the turmoil has died down (my daughter’s health issue—at that time I wasn’t sure yet if it was TB or cancer). Prior to her email in September, I had reached out to her because at that time I had to explain why I cancelled my trip to HK and skip the training.

Why is it that everything I do is wrong?

I’m staying for a bit because I haven’t found a viable alternative employment yet. The interviews with other companies have dried up. They have found people to fill in the positions I applied for/interviewed for because I stubbornly stuck with this job, thinking things will settle down and would be alright. Because I genuinely like what I’m doing.

And because I’m a single parent, I can’t just quit. I have bills to pay, children to send to school.

I just have to grin and bear it until the right job comes along.

In the meantime, I just have to do my best to make it smooth sailing for the rest of my team.

I want to cry. I’m super tired.

I am not losing my job, I just hate our parent company. The feeling is still the same as the one conveyed below: