I saw a post on social media (can’t remember if it was on Instagram or Threads) about a girl begging for her guy to stay. Thinking about the things why he didn’t stay.

Girl, don’t beg. Nobody is worth that much (maybe except your children). If you have to beg, he’s not worth it. The people who are worth your love, time, and effort are those who chose to stay despite everything. If they leave, that meant they have made their choice a long time ago. Nobody leaves on a whim.

The only time I asked someone to stay was when my college boyfriend broke up with me. I made him a copy of Jars of Clay’s song, Tea and Sympathy, and sent it to his apartment. I didn’t get any response (either he was dense or he just didn’t care anymore). But I knew what I did was not right because it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I felt like I humiliated myself.

I haven’t repeated that mistake.

I did ask some of them why because I wanted to understand so that I won’t seek answers and linger for a long time.

But you know, you will never get answers and better leave it like that. Eventually, the truth will come out. It usually does and when you finally learn that, you are better off knowing that you didn’t lower yourself to their level, especially if they’re a cheater and a liar.

And no, I don’t recycle.

If they hurt, disrespected me, and/or abused me the first time around, what is my assurance that they won’t do the same again? I am basically the same person and the same reasons for leaving me will continue cropping up.

It’s almost three years since I have become solo. I’m much stronger and wiser but I carry with me so many scars and my skin is already battle-hardened. What I went through were just stepping stones to something bigger that is enough to destroy a weaker person.