When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.
For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I’m feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I’m feeling sad, it’s my consolation. When I’m feeling happy, it’s part of why I feel that way.
If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone.

Frederick Buechner , Whistling in the Dark: A Doubter’s Dictionary

A trip around the sun. What have I learned from that journey?

Well, if I put my mind into it, I can accomplish almost anything. I built a house with no debt. Even though it’s small, it’s still mine.

I didn’t know it, but I realized I was a strong person to have withstood all the shit I’ve been through. My heart has endured so much that I wonder why it’s still beating.

I have voids somewhere inside me. They feel hollow and will never be filled up…but there are areas within me that have swollen so much with love to compensate for those voids that cannot be closed up.

My back hurts so much.

I am trying to come into terms with my not being able to get thinner. I need to accept that a woman like me who has polycystic ovarian syndrome will always have a battle with her weight.

Two years ago, I wrote here about self-preservation. Indeed, I’ve only been here for 5 months and yet I feel like I’m being hugged and protected whenever I come home. My world has become smaller as I retreated to my mother’s womb to be reborn. I have yet to emerge from my cocoon. I have yet to see who I will become.