They started sedating her a few minutes before 2 pm. I was holding her hand and she fought the drug as she tried to still look at me straight into my eye, as if looking for assurance.

I had to leave because my anxiety was already climbing into my throat and I was becoming nauseous since I was seeing everything on screen (initial ultrasound). They will try to get ascite fluid, then move on to a CT-guided biopsy for AFB, for histopathology, and something else I forgot.

There is an onsite pathologist who will do a quick (I don’t know how quick is quick) preliminary analysis so the doctors will know if further intervention procedures will be needed. If none is needed and my daughter is stable, we will be sent home. She can go back to school after a week or two of rest.

It’s basically a waiting game because the histopathology report takes weeks. I will be a huge mass of nerves until then.

What our hema-onco told me a few days ago is that there are discrepancies between the findings of the PGH radiologist and that of our previous hospital. First is that the current radiologist didn’t find nodules around the liver, which was stated in the report of the first radiologist. I forgot what are the other discrepancies.

Could it be that the radiologist in the previous hospital is not that good and there could be wrong findings?

I don’t know what that implies. I don’t want to Google, I don’t want to think anymore.

Nurse told us that my daughter will resume her TB med and Vit B complex tomorrow. I guess they stopped everything so these won’t be in the way of our doctors’ lab tests and biopsy. Now that the biopsy is done, maybe it’s better to be on the safe side until we have clear evidence it is indeed TB?

But I haven’t spoken to any of our doctors yet so…🤷🏻‍♀️ What do I know?

Tomorrow I must bring one specimen to TB DOTS at the 7F and one to the National Tuberculosis Reference Lab at the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine in Alabang. I don’t have my car with me and I can’t leave my patient alone so I have no choice but to ask the girls’ dad to bring the specimen there.

It’s a roller coaster ride today.

When I took a shower tonight, my hairfall was akin to what I experienced during and post-Covid back in 2021. My stress level must have been so high that I’m already losing a lot of hair.

I don’t know if my nightmare is just starting.