Our hematologist asked me this morning, “How do you keep calm amid all this? You’re so strong.”

My reply: I had already given this to God. It’s out of my hands.

I haven’t had any real sleep. I can’t get sick; I have to be strong to take care of my baby. Prayers and adrenalin are what keep me going. Otherwise I would have collapsed now and sunk deep, down to the bottom of the barrel.

We will be transfering to the Philippine General Hospital in two days, after we’re done with some tests for the other probability. Our attending pediatrician is more confident about doing the bone marrow biopsy there and she found a hemato-oncologist who could take us in.

Genetics is shit.

But you know, that’s what we were given and there’s nothing I can do about it.

All the trials I’ve gone through led me to this. They were nothing compared to this. Heaven hardened me so I can be strong for my girl.

And I believe in miracles.