Yep, another 90-min Thai massage. Because I can. Because I had been deprived of good massage for weeks as I had been busy with the move and I no longer have access to Zennya massage after relocating south. Because I deserve to be pampered and be relieved of my perpetual back pain.

I didn’t want to be a responsible adult for the entire week so I’m not exercising. I’m just here for the massage. 🤣

So yes, I’m drifting off…I’ll finish this later. Too sleepy.

One of the things that therapy and being introspective has done to me is to become self-aware. So during the mentorship session on Monday, I realized that I wasn’t really good at giving praises to people verbally. I do it indirectly by posting on LinkedIn about how great my team was, how good they are at scooping, etc. Then if someone else is praising one of my reporters, I would forward it to the reporter as a way of saying, you’re doing well. But somehow I couldn’t bring myself to say it directly to the reporter.

Because I grew up not being praised. Typical Asian household. It’s more of… they would directly criticise you but they would never praise. So I struggle with doing the same for the people I manage. But of course we all know praises from managers are important and I must learn to overcome my inhibition to compliment and praise.

So for me to say “I love you” verbally to someone is already a big deal. I still struggle with it when I want to say it to my kids. So for me to say I love you to someone with so much freedom and generosity and do it often, it’s already a very big deal. That meant the feeling was so overpowering that I had overcome that barrier that was put up in my childhood. Unfortunately, the one who received those I love yous didn’t deserve it.

So I must rectify it and instead I should shower my kids with I love yous and more praises. I should be more generous with my reporters when it comes to praises and compliments. They deserve it.