Took my sweet time before going to Botanical Gardens late morning, at around 10:30 am. As expected, the heat was oppressive and the sun was chasing me as I kept moving my stuff on the grass.

My friend of three decades followed me to the Botanic Gardens and we had a long chat about what’s happening with her lately. In a nutshell, she broke up with another guy last night. She was pissed with me for asking things that she didn’t want to hear.

She has been serial dating and hopping from one relationship to another without properly healing. But it seems like she doesn’t believe in my method of healing, like taking time to love myself first, trying to meet my needs by myself and not trying to fill the perceived void that is my own making. She said, “why can’t I do both? Loving myself while I try out relationships to see what I really want out of them?”

I told her, without properly healing, you will always end up with the wrong person, carrying the same toxicity and meeting the same toxic people. In the process you are hurting and exhausting yourself more.

She doesn’t recognize that the void she wants to fill up can be done by herself. I believe (and she doesn’t) that she will have a healthier relationship with somebody if she herself is a whole person and not trying to fill up what she perceives to be missing with what the other person may or may not offer. That’s the problem with co-dependents (she is also a product of a co-dependent parents), they have this need for affirmation and perceived value to come from another person.

Anyway, I do pray that she finds peace in herself and the world around her and not go down into a vortex of toxic relationships.