It didn’t get better today.
I was just relieved that the piece that I had labored over for two weeks is finally published.
Pressure is still mounting within me. Stress is eating me alive.
My bosses didn’t approve my trip to Singapore next month. They said I just conduct interviews via Zoom.
That didn’t sit with me well (which is an understatement). I’ve hired via WhatsApp and Zoom and they turned out to be flukes. They’re no longer with the company. And to think I had lost my mind training them and was dragged through compliance and legal issues because they were not the journalists they claimed to be. The problem is I didn’t get a good “feel” of the candidates when I was in the process of hiring them. Well, I wasn’t the main decision-maker; I was just a deputy at that time. How can I poach with this kind of arrangement?!
When my company was hiring me almost 9 years ago, the APAC boss flew all the way from Hong Kong to talk to me at Podium in Ortigas. She took time to understand where I was and what my expectations were. I felt that I was given importance. That made a lot of difference.
I felt feel so blue today. Retaining a headhunter was out of the question because London didn’t retain any. A new approval from London is needed and it would take forever. Like forever. I told my boss that doing this by myself with no help from London and from HR will eat up 90% of my time and I cannot edit and chase stories. I would have to let things slide at a time when we are super undermanned. Which hurts me so much.
I am just so angry and sad.
I decided to go out of the house and drive to Wilcon Home Depot along C5 to exchange my extra curtain rod and toilet paper holder with a wall fan that I will have installed in my bedroom in my new home. A little bit of fresh air made me feel a little bit human again instead of being a ball of angry nerves.
Then when I opened my “newspaper” tonight, I saw this. You know, when America sneezes, the world gets chills.
To express my sadness, I resorted to painting bookmarks again.
