So enough of the boo hoo episode and I must forge ahead. I read some past entries under the tag “anger” and what I’ve written last night is the recurring theme and I keep saying the same things over and over.

That means I’ve exhausted the topic. Eventually, I will get tired of it and I will no longer have any fucks to give.

Good.

The fact that I am no longer triggered with what I wrote last night (unlike before when I still get triggered everytime I did write about him) means I’m getting there. Take note, I’ve been off my meds since July and the topic didn’t send me palpitating nor I was sleepless. In fact, I fell asleep easily last night, with my phone on my hand as I dozed off while watching a reel. So this means the topic is no longer that grave as before.

Cheers to me!

Yes, I’m still angry but it’s no longer the heaviest weight on my mind, unlike before when it was occupying so much headspace. I realized now (after ruminating over this) that forgiveness is not needed for me to become indifferent to him. Just like with my past exes (and boy, they did some despicable things), I just grew up and no longer cared. I didn’t have to forgive them—I just didn’t care anymore.

I think this thing with J will just go down the same way…my anger will just dissipate, not because I had forgiven him, but because I no longer give a fuck anymore.

So yeah, the self-help books may be wrong with this one; they keep on saying need to forgive the person (or yourself) to be able to move on. I don’t have to because one day I will just stop caring since it will no longer have any bearing on me. And besides, it’s ok to keep that anger because that will keep me from engaging with such people.

Today we just ran errands and kept within the 2 km radius of mu apartment because OMG the traffic was really bad today. I keep hearing it being talked about while I was in the supermarket and reading about it on some FB and Twitter posts.

The girls went to the Kumon center for their last session for the year and I followed to fetch them so we can go grocery shopping.

The most ridiculous thing today is that my onions cost PHP 250 for less than a kilo 🤦‍♀️

My contractor sent me these photos. Yey! My house is almost complete.

Let’s see if by next week there will be more significant progress…