This is the reward for cozying up with despots like Duterte and criminal families like the Marcoses. Manuel Villar acquired the franchise of ABS-CBN (after the latter was stripped off it by the demon Duterte) in a midnight deal with the National Telecommunications Commission (NTC) that surprised us all.

The bastards.

Meanwhile, ABS-CBN and PLDT had to call off the x-deal between them (PLDT’s acquisition of a stake in SkyCable and in return ABS-CBN gets to acquire TV5) because of political pressure from the House of Representatives.

This is to make sure there would be no opposition media.

I never thought I would live to see such things happening again.

I was set to attend Center for Media Freedom and Responsibility (CMFR)’s meeting with journalists about “what next?” and how we can maneuver in these dangerous times. However, I was too busy that I forgot about it 😶 Geez.

On the brighter side of life, I was able to cook a dish in my Instant Pot this morning. Chicken curry (using an Ottogi curry mix) for 5 mins only in the Instant Pot. Five minutes. Perfect for very busy homemakers.

The potatoes and carrots were soft and easy to eat, as is the chicken. It was lovely to have lunch within minutes of putting all the ingredients.

I’ll just have to check my power consumption since this gadget consumes 1000 watts of power. 🥴🥴🥴

Finally issued a manager’s check to my contractor for the 50% down payment through my mom this morning. Construction materials will be arriving tomorrow and I’m scared and at the same time excited that this is finally happening.

I’m scared because I will be going back home and I’m afraid of shrinking my world again. My hometown is like a nice cocoon that is very comfortable that will also stifle my personal growth.

While I was walking from my apartment to UP yesterday, I felt melancholic that I would soon be leaving the scenes I had been seeing for the last 20 years or so of living here in QC. I felt a tug in my heart when I watched the sunset and the colors that painted the sky. I will be leaving the memories of walking there in the evenings holding hands with someone, as well as the heartaches I had whenever I remembered those times while I was already walking alone. I will be leaving the pain that tore through me when I biked or walked around the campus when I was trying to recover my lost self.

UP Diliman was home to me, a substitute for my hometown, minus my nosy family. I started graduate school there in 2003 and it has always been my go-to place when I wanted some comfort. It was where I brought my girls when they were still babies until now, to spend the weekend running around the grassy fields because we don’t have enough open spaces here in the city.

I will miss the convenience of having two grocery stores within 100m-200m away from my house and the many restaurants/food kiosks that dot the village. I will miss having Grab delivery just within minutes of me. Lazada and Shopee deliveries are easy because the QC hub is probably just near here.

Suddenly I have an epiphany…

I’m sad because I will be exchanging my freedom for convenience of having family nearby so my girls will grow up in a village, with a male role model (my brother), with cousins, grandma and aunties. They will help keep an eye on them while I’m away. I’m scared that I will be forfeiting a chance to have someone new in my life because my family is nosy.

I’m exchanging my personal growth for what is best for my girls.

Because it’s no longer about me. I want them to have the best childhood and teenage years I could offer them with my meager resources. I want them to have the best education I could afford and manage.

So children, if you’re already reading this when I’m already dead, I hope you realize now that I gave up my life and personal growth for you so you can have the best.