I got a little bit triggered today because of some short video I watched. Then I got to view this video, which is like an affirmation that my life just sucked in the past because I didn’t know any better. I met the wrong people, chasing their approval when I shouldn’t be.

Come to think of it, they’re not that special. They were special for me because I made them special in my eyes and I made myself believe that. Otherwise they’re just like any other guy/s out there.

I want to write about so many things about this subject, especially this last partner I had. But it is what it is. It is exactly a year ago this week or last week when I realized I was a big mess and decided to seek professional help.

What progress I had made! Thanks to my therapist, I sorted myself out. But it was a long and difficult process. 1 year and 8 months ago, I couldn’t imagine how it is to be where I am right now. I wondered if ever I could even reach this stage. I should love myself more for getting past that horrible stage.

Now I just need affirmative words/reminders like the one I posted above from Instagram to remind me that it’s not me—they’re just the wrong people. No matter how much bending backwards I do, it will never make a dent. They just don’t and won’t ever love me.

And if someone is the RIGHT person, he will seek me out. He will find me, even if I will soon hide myself at the foot of the mountain in my hometown, he will find me.

If not, it’s fine. At least I’m going to be happy with the life I am building for myself and the girls.

I had more energy today so I decided to cook brunch. Didn’t attempt go out today because I have no idea if I could.

Will do another antigen test in a few hours.

Tomorrow is the girls’ mock entrance exam. Must sleep now to prepare them tomorrow.