I got lazy and didn’t go to the vax center for the Covid booster. Because it rained. Hard to get a taxi.

Then my 2-3 pm interview with a Singapore telemed startup got cancelled because the founder had a personal emergency. Another rescheduling issue on my plate.

Spent the rest of the day closing the loop for the contract of my new/old hire and finally it got signed by him and a director from our HK office. I don’t want to deal with London office for a while, if I could.

I didn’t know where my day went because I barely left my seat. It was exhausting. Just as I thought my day already ended, my Outlook’s alarm went off, reminding me I still had an MS Teams call with London people 🙄 I didn’t have time to cook myself a proper meal so I had this:

While I was having my late dinner, Twin I was torturing Kimchi.

Half of my cats’ day is spent sleeping and the other half is spent trying to avoid the girls 😂.

A lot of people are reacting to my profile picture change, which is unnerving. One friend said, hey you got a love life? I said yes, with Park Seo-Joon but he doesn’t know it. 🤣 But kidding aside, this is just me saying I am just one session away from graduating from psychotherapy.

I’m supposed to take my antidepressant until August only. I think I’m on track. And my shrink will let me go after that.

I changed photos today because I’m no longer grieving. My old profile photo was taken right after I had my hair chopped off a few days after the breakup. That photo was an act of defiance but it still reflected my grief.

This new photo is like a graduation photo; I now have a genuine smile. I’m growing my hair back. I will wear it longer. I have more crow’s feet but I’m wearing it as a badge of honor.

I am truly moving on.

Why do we hold on? I learned that we couldn’t move on because we believe what we had before was the best we could ever have. We don’t let go. We become prisoners of what we had, of the past, because we believed that it was best thing and would not be able to have it again.

But once we realize that there’s something better for us after the dust has settled, we easily can let go.

That’s what happened to me. I realized that while I was dancing in my room to my Spotify tunes that I had been constricted for a long time when I was with J. I conformed and molded myself to his liking. To make him happy and accept me. But in doing so I killed a part of me.

And in the end he didn’t even accept the whole of me.

Now that I’m free, in the truest sense, I realized I missed this crazy part of me. I missed the artist in me. I missed singing. I missed the playful me who goes into escapades because I can.

I am now a better version of me, a happier me that he will never see.

That better version of me that somebody else would be able to appreciate one day.