Light amidst the darkness.

That is what my daughters are right now.

Twin A last night asked me, “Mommy, can I be a lawyer?”

Me: Of course, yes!

Twin A: I want run for president like Leni. I want to be a lawyer and help the poor farmers who do not have homes, just like Leni.

And there I was, crying yesterday, losing hope, feeling betrayed and defeated. Thinking of giving up on my country.

And here is my child, giving me a reason not to give up.

My other child, Twin I, had been reading up on the Marcoses and she is now on the part where Imee Marcos–the current senator and head of the senate committee on elections (surprise surprise!)–had the young Archimedes Trajano killed in 1977 because he dared to speak out. She said she is annoyed with Imee Marcos that she’s so plastic and that she had the temerity to tell the court and Trajano’s mother that, “It’s none of your business.”

Yesterday, they have started the old practice of using guns to instill fear into the hearts of those who have opposed Marcos 50 years ago. They are now soon going to start the witch-hunt among us journalists.

I was so heartbroken yesterday, I cried myself to sleep. I talked to my mom this morning and she said:

“We are living in dangerous times right now. The media is the next to be targeted. Come home here and we will talk about your Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C because your profession is a threat to them. We have to continue to fight. Our mistake then was we became complacent after 1986, but the Marcoses had been plotting this for decades. We became complacent that’s why we had all those missteps after 1986. This is the time for us to regroup and fight a tougher battle.”

My older colleagues who were stringers for international publications during the Marcos era were covering business at that time as well. It doesn’t mean that since I am an international correspondent, I’m already shielded. State sequestration of private corporations—just like what Duterte threatened to do with Manila Water and Maynilad—is within my purview. Every journalist now is threatened, as they had been back then. Look at what BBM did to Lian Buan.

At least I know if something happens to me, my brother and my older sister can take in my daughters.

My essay about Marcos and Radiowealth will remain where it is. I will not delete it—because it is the truth.

Marcos has not yet been sworn in but the nightmare is already starting.