My neighbor and my household have been sheltering street cats in our compound. One ginger mommy cats gave birth to four kittens but only three survived (or one is still missing/hiding). They are for adoption and then the mommy cat would be spayed as soon as I can get her into a cat carrier and have her scheduled at PAWS.

The kittens are already eating solid food.

I’ve posted on my social media accounts and sent private messages to friends and relatives just in case they may be interested. So far no takers yet. Poor kitties! They need a home/homes. I could no longer take them because my masungit cats are territorial and I no longer have space for one more kitty litter.

I was already doing fine and life is placid then this came out of nowhere via Grab. Life throws me curve balls.

I think this was the view of Laguna Lake on top of Mt. Tagapo in Talim Island. The canvas I bought J with the acrylic paints in preparation for the first lockdown.

I don’t know why he had to do this after a year when I’m already doing much better and working towards healing. Guilt? I dunno. All I can say is I got triggered and had a panic attack.

Grab tracker says it’s from Muntinlupa and the delivery guy says it’s from Nicole or whatever name. I always knew he had a girlfriend even before we broke up. That’s why he was so defensive. A woman just knows; I was just clouded at that time but I always knew–that’s why I fought hard to win him back. I suspected it was D since its just so happened it was her name that always that cropped up but deep down I knew it must be somebody else since he’s attracted to shiny people/things, like that girl from that co-working space that he pirated. He was impressed by/attracted to her because she’s shiny even though I knew she was wrong for the job but he still insisted. I was so tired of trying to be shiny to measure up to his expectations. I will never measure up. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Deep down I knew that right after we broke up, he already had somebody else in that condo, as I mentioned here several times before. That person was the reason why. He could have just told me when I asked was there somebody else even though I already knew the answer but I was just in denial. He didn’t have the decency to tell me so I had to suffer the whys. To the point I had to go into therapy.

Whatever his reasons for sending this painting, it doesn’t matter anymore.

I am closing this chapter. I’m so tired of the deceit and lies. I’M JUST SO FREAKING TIRED.

I could never measure up and will never be enough.

I’m just me. Simple. Earthy. I live by my wits. I don’t have the body, I don’t have money, and I only just have my brains to live on. I live by my hands, I want to create things, I’m not glamorous and will never be.

I have so much to give but to the wrong people.

I’m so done. I’m finally cutting this soul tie.