Among the artists who have recently departed this dimension, it’s Dolores O’Riordon who has affected me the most. I’m not ashamed to confess that her death personally affected me since I wasn’t able to see them live in 1996 (I was a poor college freshman) and 2012 (I just gave birth to twins) here in Manila. On the day she died, I played non-stop Cranberries songs, whatever I could find on Youtube. Then in my car, I continued my mourning as I played their songs in my Sony Walkman on a loop on my way to a coverage.

Cranberries was part of my high school life. Dolores and Alanis Morisette  were the female artists who had influenced me as a vocalist at that time.

The first time I heard “Zombie” back in 1994, I couldn’t shake it out of my head. I waited for it to be played on air so I could tape record it (yes, yes, the old-school recording to make the soundtrack of my life; it was an art form, mind you). Then I played it on my sister’s Walkman while in a van on the way to Manila from Los Banos with my classmates. We were competing in a science fair to showcase our study-sorta-thesis then. So the entire duration of that science fair, I was listening to Cranberries, Guns n Roses (Spaghetti Incident), Mr. Big (Bump Ahead [I fell in love with “Promise Her the Moon“]), Collective Soul (“Shine”), and a couple of locals like Color It Red, Rivermaya, and E-heads. Guys were borrowing the Walkman and my tapes to beat the boredom while we tended to our booths. (Girls had a different playlist back then, I was the odd one).

I followed Cranberries. I borrowed tapes or swapped with classmates. In my senior year, some guys and I formed an amateur band and we played Cranberries. Twenty-plus years on, a classmate told me that whenever she hears Cranberries, she remembers me. That’s how closely tied I was to the band.

When I read that the Cranberries was reuniting, I thought to myself I will finally have the chance to see them live. But it was never meant to be.

I was sad when Chris Cornell died. When Dolores passed, I was heartbroken.

Goodnight.