These are the remnants of a four-hour dinner. If it weren’t for C’s daughter asking where she is, we wouldn’t have broken up our conversation at 10 pm. These BFFs had been with me since high school and it’s such a nice evening interjected with so much laughter.

The world looks all right when I’m cocooned like this with friends who knew me when I was just four feet tall.

The two of them will be working remotely/have a long weekend R&R in Tagaytay starting Thurs. I asked if they booked an AirBnB and BFF T said, no more AirBnBs.

“I don’t want to deal with broken toilets and spending my supposed holiday cleaning the bathroom because of a broken toilet and the host will leave a bad review of you as a guest. I want room service, I want someone reachable when something goes wrong with/in your room. We’re at that stage where we can already afford hassle-free accommodations. I want it to be accessible and not in some subdivision,” she said.

That’s what I call spending money wisely. I mean, why are we even working hard only to deprive ourselves of few creature comforts because we’re scrimping? So, yeah, I agree that AirBnBs are more of a hassle when you’re traveling for leisure/staycation.

I won’t be joining them because I need to be healthy and well rested before my Singapore trip, which will be next Sunday. I called ParkNFly an hour ago to make my reservation and spend the next five days anxious about the security of my car.

Been stuck for an hour reading a Twitter thread about the productivity-wage gap that is wider now, which keeps the new generation from owning homes.

In a nutshell, this is one huge reason why:

Owning homes before was a lot easier because land was more affordable/plentiful in my parents’ generation. My parents, lowly state university teachers with four kids in private elementary school, were able to own their first home (after renting in Makati and later on in my hometown) in 1979 when they were 30 years old. Home loan through GSIS was easier. However, money was tight–very tight–because they were paying off their mortgage. They sold that bungalow to build a five-bedroom, two bathroom house in a 250-300 sqm lot within the university perimeter. They paid it off in 15 years through GSIS. Money was still tight but we could afford a few luxuries then as my parents earned their PhDs.

That said, home ownerhship was not impossible.

I moved back home because I cannot afford a house in Metro Manila, not on my income alone. The prospect of being in debt for 30 years for a condo with perpetual association dues scares me. I also cannot really own the unit because I only have air rights. If an earthquake destroys the building, I would literally be homeless. I would not own land to rebuild a home. If I lose my job and won’t be able to get the same salary level I have now, I would also become homeless because I won’t be able to service my debt. Yeah, you also have to take into consideration that I’m a solo parent who is also the sole provider of my kids’ needs and education.

The good thing about my situation is that my mom is generous, helping me out with my house as I was provided with a place to plant myself, allowing me to take my share of the assets she will pass down to us in the future. It was possible for me to move to an area with lower cost of living because my job is remote and my salary is above local standards.

But without these concessions, it would be impossible for me to own a house. Even a small house.

So going back to the tweet about home ownership in the US, my generation (Gen X or Xenial) and the millennials have it bad. The housing situation there is worse. I had been watching tiny house videos and read threads; reading personal finance blogs and news articles over the years about cost of living and how screwed the healthcare system there is–a simple surgery there without insurance can bankrupt you. Canada is worse when it comes to housing costs, followed by Australia. I did research these markets as candidates for a possible migration for me and my kids but it seemed difficult.

Let’s not talk about Singapore for a moment because citizens there have their HDBs. It’s a different story for foreigners though. Hong Kong, meanwhile, is absurd so we’re going to write that one off when we talk about home ownership.

Speaking of home ownership, the construction around my house is done. My contractor cleared the garden and everything else today.

Meanwhile my laundry/utility area is easy to work with.

One thing, I’m glad I’m already out of Metro Manila. But that doesn’t mean I no longer have to prepare. The rainwater reservoirs we have here may not be enough if we’re facing a long dry spell. These are only good for flushing toilets and washing rags, cleaning floors, and watering plants. Should we have more tanks???

I was trading yesterday before the stock market closed ahead of the Eid’l Adha holiday today. I know I could trade lower so I halved my allotment for the month. First half I offered 102.5 for the First Metro ETF when the last price was 102.6. I was surprised somebody accepted my offer and it got executed.

I took a break then I saw it went up to 102.8. The market was about to close in a few minutes so I didn’t bother sitting at my table and did my trade on my phone. I told myself I’m just going to stick to 102.5 and that’s it.

Lo and behold! My offer went through! And the funny thing is I didn’t know my fat fingers typed 102.00 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I dragged down FMETF, much to the chagrin of whoever bought at 102.8 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yes, I’m back to trading because I’m done with the house payments. 👏👏👏👏 I have more disposable income now because I’m no longer paying for a regular maid (only a weekly cleaning lady) and her school tuition, no longer paying rent, and I just had a raise and bonus. I can replenish my investments quickly. With interest rates still elevated, the stock market will remain tepid for the rest of the year. I just have to be alert for the dips.

I learned from colleagues the past few months that some of them have been trading even though we shouldn’t because of the kind of knowledge we have. We are only allowed ETFs and index funds. The ideal are mutual and some iteration of that like UITFs or other funds because we do not actively manage the funds.

I could trade freely given that my grandfathered contract is more loose than what they draft now under the new parent company. But somehow I feel—it’s not right. For example, I know that a PE is aggressively buying from the open market to gain a board seat in one listed company, and the target company’s board doesn’t like it. I could play it but…I will feel guilty.

Just like when I broke the story more than a decade ago that one conglomerate was buying a power company, slowly accumulating from the open market. I could have traded and made a lot of money because the share price went from PhP 90 to PHP 300 after I broke the news.

But it didn’t feel right.

I let it go. It’s not for me.

I will just buy really low, like when the market crashes. I’m good at timing the market anyway. Part of the funds that I used to build my house came from my Lehman Brothers crash investment. 🤑

A lawyer friend who used to be a reporter (we were both stock market reporters then) is now into forex trading and is making money out of that. While I know the fundamentals behind forex trading as I started as a banking and macroeconomy reporter, I do not have the fortitude for doing so. You need to be fast because you make money in the short-term. It’s active trading and you lose money as quickly as you make money. You have to be glued to your trading platform. It consumes you. This friend is always on her phone, watching and trading, reading news all the time because currencies react quickly. I don’t have the patience and time to do that. Maybe when I retire I will do that.

I’m much better today but the diphenhydramine I took the night before knocked me out flat. I briefly did some washing up and stowing away of dishes at 9 am and slept again. I woke up at 2 pm to have lunch at my mom’s. So basically, I slept half the day away.

Feeling more energized, I finally installed this afternoon the washing machine in my laundry area that is now functional. Did one load of bedsheets to check for leaks in the new hose I installed. No leaks. Perfect.

But it has been raining heavily the past few days. It takes a while for clothes to dry 😩

Right now there’s a thunderstorm and I’m thankful that I no longer have to worry about the roof in my kitchen/laundry area leaking.

All I have, all I need
He’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands
Still, I’m searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday
I’ll breathe again

Something to learn on the piano this week. I’m losing my mojo. I haven’t painted nor played the piano in two months. My spirit is dying. I need to do something creative.

It’s only when I’m lying in bed on my own
And I wake up and I don’t see your name on my phone
It’s in the moments where I think that I’m better alone
That’s when I remember, that’s when I remember

Every time I walk past your house in the rain
And I tell myself that you were the biggest mistake
And just when I think I’m finally doing okay
That’s when I remember, that’s when I remember

I need to get out of this house. I need to see the sky and grass. I need to breathe.

But I’m still weak.

I’ve been housebound for several days now because of this dratted flu-asthma combo but the coughing and wheezing have subsided today. The girls and I just had to overcome the huge hump that is yesterday when our breathing was so constricted that we had to take turns in using the nebulizer. My mom has been sending us food and my sisters some cough medicines because what I have here aren’t making any dent. I should really stock up on Pei Pa Koa, even the NIH study showed its effectiveness.

When my sisters and Mom were in Hong Kong, this TCM is what saved them.

I should hunt for the nearest TCM store here; if there is none, then I don’t have any choice but to order online. When I had Covid two years ago, it’s another TCM, Lianhua Qingwen, that saved my ass. Well-meaning friends sent me boxes and boxes of these. Another study showed that it works. I was high-risk and it was really difficult to breathe that I had to nebulize just to give me relief even though I wasn’t sure it was making any difference. This TCM did alleviate my symptoms—and to a certain extent my two dosage of Sinovac did help keep me alive but that vax was really questionable since I had really bad symptoms, which I had to manage on my own for 21 days in isolation.

I can’t remember being this sick since I had Covid…Hmm…can’t remember.

Found you when your heart was broke
I filled your cup until it overflowed
Took it so far to keep you close
I was afraid to leave you on your own

I said I’d catch you if you fall
And if they laugh, then screw ’em all
And then I got you off your knees
Put you right back on your feet
Just so you could take advantage of me

Tell me, how’s it feel sittin’ up there?
Feeling so high,
but too far away to hold me
You know I’m the one
who put you up there
Name in the sky,
does it ever get lonely?
Thinking you could live without me…
Live without me
Baby, I’m the one who put you up there
I don’t know why

Gave love ’bout a hundred tries
Just running from the
demons in your mind
Then I took yours and made ’em mine
I didn’t notice ’cause my love was blind

I said I’d catch you if you fall
And if they laugh, then screw ’em all
And then I got you off your knees
Put you right back on your feet
Just so you could take advantage of me

Tell me, how’s it feel sittin’ up there?
Feeling so high,
but too far away to hold me
You know I’m the one
who put you up there
Name in the sky,
does it ever get lonely?
Thinking you could live without me…
Live without me
Baby, I’m the one who put you up there
I don’t know why

You don’t have to say just what you did
I already know
I had to go and find out from them
So tell me, how’s it feel?

I wanna kick myself.

I booked the wrong return flight from Singapore to Manila, essentially cutting one whole day for meetings.

You see, I was already tired from work and still very, very sick (heavily drugged) when I booked my roundtrip ticket to Singapore via Singapore Airlines tonight. What I thought was 11:30 pm was actually 11:30 am on a Friday. Meaning I need to leave my hotel at 8 am, therefore, I can no longer arrange meetings and whatnot on my last working day there. I need to pack the training for the new journos within four days. I just have to beg sources to meet me on specific days 😭.

I tried rebooking but I didn’t know that the ticket I picked was the no-reschedule, no-cancellation kind. I was told that if I rebook, I would have to pay an additional USD 200. I think people from accounting will kill me.

So woman, next time pay attention!

Oh well, let’s see if I can rearrange some meetings for August and September when I get back. I’m really not thrilled with getting stuck in an airport again. 😑

It’s a wet and busy Monday. We’re all hoarse and coughing/barking like dogs here. This is one nasty flu we got. I say we should return to mask-wearing. We reduced flu incidence by more than half in this household when strict mask-wearing was enforced. 😷

I’m torn between going to see a pediatrician for my girls for some antibiotic or we wait a bit more and let the antibodies do their job. I am always in a dilemma when it comes to this because I’m afraid of overmedicating that could lead to antiobiotic resistance, but I’m also scared whenever I hear my girls coughing like that because what if it was already pneumonia?

But then, I remember their pulmonologist at St. Luke’s QC telling me that I shouldn’t worry about the coughing after an asthma attack. Those are residual coughs and I shouldn’t overmedicate by making them nebulize for more than a week. The cough will just go away after a week or two. As for acute bronchitis, CDC has this to say:

Acute bronchitis usually gets better on its own—without antibiotics. Antibiotics won’t help you get better if you have acute bronchitis.

When antibiotics aren’t needed, they won’t help you, and their side effects could still cause harm

Ok, if their coughing remains bad tomorrow, we need to go to the doctor… Ooops! Their pulmonologist’s schedule is MWFS. 🤕

Screw genetics. I’m sorry girls, you took after asthmatic mommy, and received all her allergies.

It’s cooler today that I haven’t turned on my aircon yet.

I’m drugged. I’m coughing my lungs out. I’m miserable.

I managed to cook something this morning but went back to sleep. Now I’m just so out of it. I need to buy survival items for a bit because we cannot just live on Grab Food alone (yes, I just discovered we have Grab Food here). I don’t know where and how I will get the strength.

I hate being sick.

I’m aching all over. 🤧🤕

Well, Twin A has a slight fever now but she’s negative for Covid.

It’s just a season for nasty flu. I’m still figuring out how I can shop for provisions for us for the next few days.

They have rebooted Rurouni Kenshin the anime series.

I wonder how much are they changing the anime series. Well for one, Kenshin will have a male seiyu now, unlike in the late 1990s version. I’ve read that this will be more faithful to the manga series. The first anime series meandered so much because they became ahead of the manga (because Shōnen Jump publication was slower), just like what happened to Fullmetal Alchemist.

The first Fullmetal anime series was ahead of the manga that the animation studio made their own narrative, deviating from the manga, hence, the storyline about the seven deadly sins and their involvement with Ed and Al’s father got screwed up. The Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood was more sane, in the sense it is more faithful to the manga.

Going back to Rurouni Kenshin, I now have misgivings about this knowing now that the author is a pedo that got away, not charged or anything. Japan has a convoluted justice system. No wonder there was so much grooming among the characters, like Aoshi x Misao and Kenshin x Kaori. The only pairing that made sense was Yoshi x Tsubame.

But I love Kenshin. I wanted to learn kendo because of this anime. But I later realized that kendo is useless; it’s kenjutsu that’s closer to swordfighting. I enrolled in an Asian Studies course in grad school because I wanted to deepen and formalize my education about Japanese history and culture. In the process, I learned about the East Asian culture as well because I broadened my scope. When my advisor asked me why I cross-enrolled in Asian Center, my glib excuse was my thesis may delve into cultural studies. 🤣 Which of course didn’t. I was targeting some scholarships in Japan but the only offering at that time was S. Korea cross program. That was attractive, too, since I was into K-drama at that time, too, but my priority was getting into a Japanese cultural program so I didn’t bother. A classmate bagged a Japan scholarship because she was a student at the Center whereas I was a cross-registrant, with no clear study direction 🤣

All because of Kenshin and my anime fangirling. At that point, I may have watched and downloaded hundreds and hundreds of anime titles.

But then, life got in the way. Oh well.